One question I forgot to ask, and since the beach encounter completely took you by surprise, I think it might be valid.
Did she put a saddle on the horse or did she ride bare back?
Bareback riding down the beach with a gorgeous local during a beautiful sunset in Hawaii must be magical.
Bareback; it never even occurred to us.
"it was like we had completed a cycle"
did you wear a "rain jacket"?
If your trying to joke around about if she was on her period, that still doesn't make sense. And what's with the quotations?
Anyway, I went to this club called 'Pure' last night and Method Man & Redman were doing a semi-concert there. We got there around midnight and **** was ridiculous outside the door. Like the conniving bastard I am, I overheard someone yell out a name to a table inside as I walked by. Using that info, I pushed my way to the front (and almost got into a fight with this huge black dude....but I passed that nigga moment by and paid him no attention). I went up to the dude with the list and used the name. He kept checking and rechecking the list. He would walk back to another guy and walk back to me. This lasted for a good 15 minutes, but I wasn't sweating. During that time it was straight pandemonium outside. There were literally hundreds of people trying to get in. Now any regular person trying to lie would have cracked....but nope, not me. When the dude came back I said, "Look, I understand you may have certain priorities you need to deal with and that's fine, just realize that I have people waiting for me inside, and if I don't get in soon, we are going to have a problem!" The dude looked at me bug eyed, went back to his supervisor and came back and let me in. Now any regular person would have smiled, but I looked even more pissed off (further selling it). As we stepped in, these two gorgeous women with humongous boobs begged me to get them in, so I did them a favor (and why not). They hugged me and called me their savior. As a joke I said, "Just call me daddi". After getting stamped, one of them asked me if I had a table personally or if it was one of my friends. I said "Neither. I lied......" They looked at me in awe. I explained to them that I don't like to deal with bullshit, and that if you act important, you are important. I threw in my age somewhere in there and they were thoroughly impressed. They grabbed my hands and started to compliment me. Once I got passed the last bouncer though, I let go and told them to come and find me...then dipped without turning back. Pimp status.
We walked into a packed club, with all sorts of people in all sorts of different costumes. Everyone looked like idiots. Girls were wearing whores uniforms, and guys all had mohawks and generally looked like douche bags. There was broken glass all over the floor and it was irritably hot. I said, "**** this." And that's when I split up with my brother and my brother's friend to go meet up with Method Man and Redman.
Now what seemed like a daunting task was easier done than said. I literally walked up to the VIP entrance and started chopping it up with the girls in line. I inquired "So how do you know Method Man?" This girl replied with some stupid answer that I couldn't hear and then tossed the question back to me. I replied "That nigga owes me a blunt!" They all laughed, and with that joke, the bouncer looked at me; seemingly grouping me in with the rest of them. Soon after, he opened up the line and let me as if I was part of the group of girls. That was easy.
I took a couple steps in and that's when I saw Redman, smiling real big as some chick took his picture. I took a couple more steps and found Method Man chillin on a couch. I went straight up to him and said, "Yo what up, nigga. You probably don't remember me, but back in Indiana, you smoked my entire sack! Now, I'm not looking for any trouble. I just want my reparations!" (That was a lie btw, I've never met him before) He laughed and pounded me. "It's nice to meet you again, my nigga. I got some weed right here." He opened up his hand to a fist full of weed. "Why don't you holla at my manager real quick and get yourself a drink?" I said "Aight, cool." I went up to his manager, this 30 year old Asian dude and took a couple shots of patron. I chopped it up with him and we started talking about Hawaii. He told me a bunch of **** and how he has a condo out there with a full studio. I told him I produce and we exchanged numbers. When I came back, Method lights up the blunt, puffs on it like crazy, then passes it to me. That's when Redman comes out of nowhere like, "Oh hell no! I know you didn't pass the blunt to someone other than me!" Method Man told him to chill his ass out and explained to him that they smoked my bag back in Indiana (again, a lie). I took one puff of the blunt and immediately security came through telling me to put it out. That's when they got in an argument with Method Man, Redman, and their manager. I quietly took another puff. The argument went on with the manager saying something like "Yo, we wouldn't have agreed to come to this bullshit club unless we could smoke!" But security wasn't having it. They replied "We told you guys three times not to smoke, yet you won't stop. We are going to have to ask you to leave." I was shocked. I was like damn....I better pass off this blunt! So I handed it back to Method Man and he took a puff and blew in this dude's face! Then they bounced.
I quickly started making myself a drink at another table and chopped it up with some other peoples to blend in. After the drama passed, I laid back on the couch and watched these three skinny big butt black girls dance right in front of me. For a minute, that's how it went till these two Latino girls (one of which was crazy hot) started asking me what was wrong and if I was tired. I played it off, saying "Naw, I'm cool. I'm just bored." They looked me, then at each other. I reiterated, "This bores me." Without saying a word, they went back to the table and got themselves a drink then came back and asked me if they could sit with me. I told them, "Why not." (What skeezers....)
So there I was, in VIP chillin with two Latino girls under my arms after lying my ass off. For a while it was real cool. I told them about my girl in Hawaii and they both swooned. They started asking me if I would ever cheat on her. I told them since I wasn't in a for real relationship that it wouldn't technically be cheating, but that I still wouldn't. They started teasing me, saying things like "So you wouldn't have sex with me?" I replied. "Don't get me wrong, you girls are attractive; but no matter what you do, I won't have sex with you. " I guess that turned them on because after that they started grinding on my **** and even kissing my neck. One of them popped her cleavage out and stuck it in my face. With sass she said "I knew it. Your dick is getting hard." I told them that was "Simple biology. But no matter how hard you two tempt me, I still won't have sex with you. Even both of you.....at the same time!" That was a lie; reverse psychology. I would have had sex with both of them. (Sow my royal oats. ha)
So these two girls almost have both of their titties out and they are working me out. They were the devil. I couldn't help but start to like it. I'm only a man, afterall. The really hot one, while rubbing herself on my leg, whispered into my ear "I have never been turned down before." I look her up and down and whisper back, "I believe it, but I'm not like anyone you know." She's like, "I know." That's when she took my hand and planted it on her ass. She then leaned forward and just as she began to kiss me (I didn't move my mouth), that's when I got a tap on my shoulder by security. I look up at this huge black dude, then look past the two girls to see these three niggas staring straight at me; hating. I politely excuse myself from the girls, to their dismay, and tell the bouncer that I'm ready. As I'm walking out of VIP, I look back and those dudes start hollering at those two girls and even tried rubbing on them, but to my satisfaction, they weren't having any of it. One of them even yelled "Get the hell off of me!" embarrassing the **** out of this one dude. I shook my head and let out a laugh. After that I proceeded to find my brother.
Nothing else was as interesting after that....