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Messages - Urkel

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51
I'm sure you've heard by now, but Icon games (as if I need to tell you who they are) has reported that nobody has bought Soccer Bashi. Absolutely shocking.
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InmgCfA38xw
 
What could have gone wrong? Well, they have it all figured out.
 
http://www.icongames.com/?p=1793
 
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We found many of the review sites for WiiWare games to be very harsh – if you veer too far from the typical Nintendo styling the reception isn’t particularly good. Nintendo Life in particular provided a number of very unpleasant reviews.

Damn nintard game reviewers. But don't think that Nintendo Life (more like Nintendo DEATH) is only to blame. Oh no. Our very own NWR gave this game a FOUR POINT FIVE! I'd love to see the reviewer defend his review... if he can. But that's okay. I'm sure he's too busy washing his Mario themed bedsheets and pajamas to address this.
 
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Perhaps the main point with WiiWare development is that you absolutely have to capture the expectations of the typical WiiWare audience – the visual style needs to be very in-keeping with the template set by the first party titles, so unless you get marketing backing directly from Nintendo, anything that veers away from this will fare badly.

This guy gets it. But why stop at Nintendo marketing the game? Nintendo should've subsidized the entire development like a REAL first party platform holder would do.
 
So there you have it, Ninfanboys. It's all your fault for not buying this unique software. And it's all reviewer's faults for not telling you to buy it. And it's all Nintendo's fault for not telling reviewer's to tell you to buy it.
 
No wonder Nintendo isn't releasing those three fruity RPGs. Not enough Mario for you guys.

52
TalkBack / Re: Playing with Power: Harnessing the Nintendo Community
« on: July 18, 2011, 07:34:46 PM »
Nintendo is just as responsible for the lousy third party support the Wii got as those developers, if not more so.

NO
 
http://pietriots.com/2010/12/17/the-3rd-party-wall-of-shame/

53
TalkBack / Re: Nintendo Video Not Coming to North America Until Later
« on: July 18, 2011, 04:33:55 AM »
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What the point of even giving a statement if you know your going to announce it the Same DAY.  Just "No Comment" it knowing your going to answer that question later in the day.

Nintendo needs to hire Christian Svensson. He knows how to handle these kinds of situations.

54
TalkBack / Re: Stop Going to GameStop
« on: July 18, 2011, 04:29:02 AM »
If Major Nelson told me to stop going to Gamestop, I'd do it. He's so dreamy.

55
TalkBack / Re: Ocarina of Time Hits the Number Two Spot in the US
« on: July 18, 2011, 04:24:04 AM »
Ocarina of Time is number two? You know what's number two? Nintendo's ability to harness their online community, am I right?

56
TalkBack / Re: Playing with Power: Harnessing the Nintendo Community
« on: July 18, 2011, 03:56:43 AM »
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Launch a company blog with an honest-to-goodness Community Manager

ahahahaha no
 
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Put some effort into Twitter

who cares
 
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Streamline and improve their Facebook pages

who cares
 
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Bring back the official Nintendo forums

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
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Be honest with your fans and share news with them, even if it's bad

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Nintendo could stand to learn from Capcom's handling of a potentially prickly situation.

Ahahahahaha. Why didn't you quote how Capcom responded to the whole Resident Evil 3D save fiasco?
 
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'In Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D, all mission progress is saved directly to the Nintendo 3DS cartridge, where it cannot be reset. The nature of the game invites high levels of replayability, encouraging fans to improve mission scores. The save mechanic ensures that both original and unlocked game content will be available to all users. Secondhand game sales were not a factor in this development decision, and we hope that all our consumers will be able to enjoy the entirety of the survival-action experiences that the game does offer. '
Second, here's the gist:
There was no intention of lessening the experience of the game. Essentially, RE Mercs was treated like an arcade fighting game. You unlock characters, levels, etc and they just stay unlocked as they would in an arcade machine. There was no hidden motive to prevent buying used copies. It's not some secret form of DRM. It's simply the way we designed the save system to work with the arcade type of gameplay.

Any non-retarded person who read that was insulted by the blatant lying.
 
As for their response to Ass Attorney Investomatic 4 Part 3 The Movie: The Game... no ****. Of course they aren't localizing it because they don't expect to make enough money off of it. What would be the point of Nintendo saying that? We already know that's their reason. That's what the point of Operation Assfall IS. To show that there IS a sizable (or at least, big enough to break even) audience for these games after all. The fact that there wasn't a big uproar over AAI4P3TM:TG isn't proof of Capcom's competence at PR, it's proof that they're right that nobody cares about the game. Releasing 5 games in a series in a single generation does that.
 
Also, please stop pretending like you actually give a **** about Operation Rainfall or these games with these editorials.
 
I've said it before, and I'll say it again...
 

57
General Chat / Re: Are you socialy adequet?
« on: July 17, 2011, 04:11:42 AM »
A D E Q U A T E

59
TalkBack / Re: Letter From The Director: Used Game Mercenaries
« on: June 28, 2011, 02:08:07 AM »

 
"The games industry um... ah... uh... finds a way. To rape you."
 

60
NWR Forums Discord / Re: I just don't get Friendship...
« on: June 14, 2011, 12:08:30 AM »
The fans of this show are all furries and/or pedophiles.

61
Seems like your bodies were not ready for the DEEPER and WIDER

62
So how long until Sony and Microsoft copy this and release their own touchscreen controllers?
 
Will they wait four years this time around, too?

63
NWR Forums Discord / Re: insanolord's Abuse of Power Thread
« on: May 29, 2011, 11:56:35 PM »
So does deleting my awesome poasts.

64
General Chat / Re: This is weird, I haven't been here in years...
« on: May 29, 2011, 11:52:32 PM »
http://pietriots.com/
 
This is where the real party's at these days.

67
TalkBack / Re: Dead or Alive Dimensions Banned in Sweden
« on: May 22, 2011, 03:50:53 AM »
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while all of Scandinavia bans pornography featuring anyone under 18, the sexual minor age is 15


68
Nintendo Gaming / Re: Porn sites supporting the Wii!!
« on: May 22, 2011, 01:30:27 AM »
37 Replies
19069 Views
 
NintendoCreepyLurkerReport

69
TalkBack / Re: The Best 30 DS Games
« on: May 21, 2011, 03:44:40 PM »
Hahahahaha. This is funny. You guys are funny.
 
"Best 30 DS Games". I get it. That's a good one. Does the DS even HAVE 30 games worth buying? I guess if you're a Nintard deperately trying to justify your purchase of the next Virtual Boy it does. Too bad touchscreen gaming is a shallow gimmick, and you've already seen everything a touchscreen can do in the Super Mario 64 DS minigames.
 
And now that Nintendo found success in casual games like Brain Age and Nintendogs, that's all you're ever going to get. Third parties will all jump ship to the PSP and you'll never see any big games for the DS. EVER.

70
My favorite troll:
 
Nintendo World Report Hosts Live Podcast For Child's Play
 
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Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cares?

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Jason Ross
BOooooooo -urns!


Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-urns!

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Nick DiMola
 
You're an awful person.
   

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I meant about NWR.

71
TalkBack / Re: Nine Things Nintendo Needs To Do With Wii 2
« on: May 19, 2011, 10:54:40 PM »
1. MAKE IT HARDCORE!!!
comon nintenado WE hardcore gamers got you where you are. stop makeing games for grandmas their old and going too die soon anyway so they wont be your costumers for long.
 
2. DONT GIVe IT A GAY NAME!
wii??? serioslyu??? none of my hardcore gamer friends would buy a wii beacuase its so GAY. i bet if it was called the revolution they wouldve baught on. cafe is preety gay too but not as gay as wii but still i hope you give it a cool name like the nintendo sidewinder or nintendo giygas. whech brings me to mhy next point.
 
3. MAKE MOTHER 4 A LUNCH TITLE!
there are millilions of gamers clammering for a new mother game. I KNOW U LIKE MONEY NITENDO MAKE IT HAPPEN. shigeru itoi-sama wants to make another game but you wont let him beccase youre too busy making Wii Knit and Wii Bake and Wii ****.
 
4. KILL CAMMY!!
shes so annoyying i cant stand her. i leterraly throw up when she acts so cheerful. she reminds me of my mom telling me to do my homework or im grounded again it so unfair.
 
5. MAKE MATURE GAMES!
look nintendo i like youre games but sometimes i feel like im play ing a fisher price toy. alot of your fans grew up so  grow up with them. it would be cool if i could do stuff in animal crossing that wasnt lame kiddy stuff like selling weed and killing tom nook and then i could take his stoer. or how about zelda with blood. uh HEY NINTENDO LINK HAS A SWORD AND LAST TIME I CHECK SWORDS CUT MONSTERS AND MAKE THEM BLEED.
 
6. BUY ROCKSTAR GAMES!
thiss ones a no brainer i think you now why
 
7. DONT CHANGE TO CONTROLLER
and im not alking about this wiimote **** you should just take that out back and shoot it. stop trying to be "innovatave" with youre contallers its so confusing oh my god! i dont want to learn how to play games over agian and you cant improve on perfection like the SIXAXIS. besides sony and microsoft will just steal your idea so why bother?
 
8. DONT MAKE IT GIMMICKY!
im so tired of your gimmicks. newsflash NOBODY CARES ABOUT MOTION COTNROLS ANYMORE. i hate having gimicks shoved down my throat just make good games. all the good video game ideas have already been invented so stop trying to be different and be like sony. they never innoveate and thats why everyboyd loves sony.
 
9. DONT MAKE IT SUCK!
this one should be obvious but this is nintendo were talking about hear so who knows. the gamecube sucked the wii really really really realy relaly really sucked and nintendo is promsing the cafe wont suck but ill believeit when i see it. please nintendo if you follow my advise then your next system wont suck.

72
I've been keeping the Pixlbit comments section interesting for the past few months.  :cool;

73
TalkBack / Re: A Change at the Top
« on: May 18, 2011, 11:44:39 PM »
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I am stepping down as Director of Nintendo World Report effective today.


 
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I'll be stepping back, but not stepping away.


74
NWR Forums Discord / Re: NWR Youtube Channel Comments
« on: May 08, 2010, 05:20:53 PM »
NintendoLife Youtube Channel Comments
 
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Hey you want to help me you can pass this around. My grandfather has become ill and is going to lose our family home and i dont have enough cash to help so i am trying to get folks to help out. Please go to my youtube profile and click the link under website to help me get back my grandfathers home. Thank you all so much for helping.   

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Burn in hell for sons of bitches. How fucking dare you ban me THREE TIMES!!   

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i hate nintendolife i am banned but i was getting bored of it now i just talk at gameinformer   

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you guys are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cool   

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sooooooo gay   

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Hibbity hoobity.   

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PLZ I NEED TO KNOW WEN THE NEW F zero game is coming out!!!!! and start fox!! AND pikmin 3!!!!!! PM ME! with any info!!!!   

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Hibbity.   

 
Pietriots Youtube Channel Comments
 
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Pietriots Wins

75
NWR Forums Discord / NWR Youtube Channel Comments
« on: May 07, 2010, 10:49:17 PM »
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  **** you guys, NintendoShitReport.

You guys ripped of Prem, you don't own every freaking The Grinder Vid Walkthrough, assholes.   

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ftftydftydf   

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Hello, and by the way , thanks Nintendo.

I have one question :
Do you know anything about the game " sadness " for wii ? Release date ?   

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crappy wii games   

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Subscribe to me now bitch   

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its kina acward for me to sub you look at my BG   

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I'm glad to see that the quality of your videos does not suck anymore.   

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why did you leave out the hardcore gamers at E3   

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Let me be one of the millions to say I absolutely love nintendo. PS3 users are a lot like sega Genesis owners. Laughing at us, standing tall on their graphics while we have the better games, even though I absolutely love them, especially the cutscenes in Brawl.  Remember the origional doom? the graphics weren't ads good as the genesis, but their versions had half the levels missing, and the sound sucked. Nintendo, you are epic, and the care for the gamer is what made you the longest running company.   

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