Nintendo World Report

Let's travel back in time, to Metro City! And smash some dude's car! That sounds pretty cool, huh, hey guys?

Final Fight One is awesome. I mean, seriously, you get to play as Jesse Ventura and beat up guys with a huge pipe. Well, actually, Mayor Jesse Ventura's Mike Haggar's daughter has been kidnapped by the Mad Gear Gang. Why? Because Mad Gear runs this town, see, and they want to ensure Mayor Mike's cooperation. Since Mad Gear has pretty much bought out the police and everything else, the only answer is hot, pipe-wielding vigilante justice. Jessica's boyfriend, Cody, and his ninja buddy, Guy, join in the goon-beating action.

Six levels filled with swarms of gangsters (and two vandalism-themed bonus stages) are what stands between the player and bringing peace back to Metro City. Each level has a very unique boss. Damnd, the giant rastafarian. Sodom, the wanna-be samurai otaku. Edi.E, the crooked cop. Rolento, the military man. Abigail, the strongman who has a girl's name and wears fur. And the big cheese behind Mad Gear, Belger. And who could forget the lovable other enemies along the way, like Two-P and J? Bred and Doug? The Andore family? Axl and Slash? El Gado and Hollywood? They must be punched, thrown, smashed, stabbed, and otherwise subjected to corporal punishment by order of The Mayor's Office!

The graphics are pretty sweet. The game looks really sharp on the GBA, and it has all of the original animation. For the in-game dialogue, portraits of each character appear on screen, some of which have been borrowed from Street Fighter Alpha 3. The colors seem to be fairly vivid, and everything is easy to see. Items on the ground blink for your convenience!

The kickin' rad music from the original Final Fight is sort-of intact. It sounds like it was sampled differently. It's still fine, though, and definitely recognizable. The super-old voice samples are still there, but "OH! MY CAR" and Belger's awesome loud scream-of-death still sound pretty hot.

The control doesn't "lag" or "not respond" or "suck" like the SNES version did. It's absolutely flawless. Extra Joy is enabled, so you can use a separate button for the special attack. You can even unlock a turbo control mode. Pretty sweet, huh?

Each character has his own unique dialogue with each boss. Most of the conversations are plain, dramatic jibber-jabber, but there are some pieces of comedy gold. The secret characters, the Street Fighter Alpha versions of Cody and Guy, have new dialogue, in which they ask themselves what they're doing back in 1989, and go on a journey of self-discovery.

"Maybe... I'm not the same person I was back then. I'm wearing new shoes!"

Capcom nerds will be delighted with the further character development (sort of) beyond Street Fighter Alpha 3. Sure, it's just a silly bonus to have Alpha Cody and Guy playable, but it gives new insights into their characters. You can find out if Cody ever joins the dark side...

It may seem silly, but the biggest downer about the whole game is the notable lack of the the beloved character Poison and her lovely palette-swap, Roxy. Remember how they were replaced with goofy male characters in the SNES version? Yeah, in the good old days before Mortal Kombat and Grand Theft Auto, pretty much everything was censored.

But, wait; in Final Fight 3 on the SNES, and probably a great many other games, you could beat up on female punks like some sort of horrible misogynist. So why, why, why, is Poison absent in Final Fight One and so disappointing her scary internet fanbase? Well, as I understand it, Capcom USA originally didn't want a game where you beat women released in the SNES days, and Capcom Japan was like, "oh, whatever, you guys. Fine, there's no women in Final Fight." And then a Capcom USA says, "what." Let's just say she's a switch-hitter, if you know what I mean, and there's some discrimination going on around here!

The options and unlocks are especially good for a beat-'em-up. There's a two-player link mode and five different difficulty levels. After some unlocking, character uniform colors can be changed, and there's a level select. There's a sweet auto-turbo function, as mentioned earlier. It even keep tracks of how many thugs have been KO'd. My count is well into the thousands.

There's a subtle bit of silliness to the whole game, what with the hats and hammers, radios, hats, roasts and other nonsense hidden in obvious crates, barrels and stacks of tires. Mmmmmm, barrel-steak! And everybody knows that pre-chewed gum restores health, as well as the fact that the Statue of Liberty resides in Metro City Harbor.

If you haven't bought Final Fight One already, you should probably buy two or three copies, just to be safe. Everybody knows they will be the currency of a post-apocalyptic future where cops have periods in the middle of their names and chandeliers fall from the ceiling to reveal delicious roasts.

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