Author Topic: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread  (Read 3255 times)

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Offline Halbred

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Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« on: March 28, 2010, 09:02:11 PM »
As most of you know, I have Cystic Fibrosis, a genetic disorder that, among other things, makes it difficult for me to gain weight.
 
But I really really want to gain some weight by the 9th! Like, maybe between five and ten pounds. I've already got a bunch of good fattening things lying around the house, including:
 
1) Pistachios
2) Twinkies
3) Girl scout cookies (Tagalongs)
4) Peanut butter wafer sticks
5) Butterfingers
6) Lots and lots of milk
 
Suggest things! Fattening things! YOU WILL PUMP ME UP (with food)!
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Offline BlackNMild2k1

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2010, 09:04:11 PM »
points to Extreme Sandwiches thread.

Offline Halbred

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #2 on: March 28, 2010, 09:16:11 PM »
Perhaps I should qualify: I'd like to constantly be stuffing my face with snacky things. Yeah, the extreme sandwich thread suggests giant meals, but...you know, things I can much while sitting on my ass, playing Tatsunoko vs. Capcom.
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Offline ShyGuy

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2010, 09:19:32 PM »
Eat foods that make your body produce large amounts of insulin. This will make your body store fat rather than burn it.
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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #4 on: March 28, 2010, 09:20:41 PM »
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Offline BlackNMild2k1

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2010, 09:29:26 PM »

Offline ThePerm

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2010, 09:34:00 PM »
i noticed Zach has like a manly voice, i would settle for that.
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Offline Brandogg

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2010, 10:55:56 PM »
That's the Taco Town Taco. It's from SNL...it's disgusting...and also probably the mos delicious thing ever.
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Offline ShyGuy

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2010, 11:26:23 PM »
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Offline NWR_insanolord

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2010, 11:54:54 PM »
Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.
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Offline ThePerm

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #10 on: March 29, 2010, 02:14:09 AM »
macdonalds
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Offline Dasmos

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #11 on: March 29, 2010, 05:07:16 AM »
Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.

You could brush your teeth with milkshakes.
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Offline Pale

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #12 on: March 29, 2010, 05:46:30 AM »
Massive chocolate bars with peanut butter all over them.
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Offline Stratos

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #13 on: March 29, 2010, 08:29:48 AM »
Pizza. A Super Supreme or Meat Lovers pizza with stuffed crust from Pizza Hut. Throw in some high calorie wings along with cheese sticks, soda and round it of with some chocolate dunkers.

Order and eat all of that every day.
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Offline RABicle

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #14 on: March 29, 2010, 09:30:35 AM »
It's a good thing Easter happens between now and the ninth.
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Offline vudu

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #15 on: March 29, 2010, 10:13:05 AM »
You could maybe work out.  Muscle weight is better than fat weight.  Just saying.
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Offline Halbred

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #16 on: March 29, 2010, 10:47:03 AM »
Working out requires energy and effort.
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Offline thatguy

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #17 on: March 29, 2010, 10:54:37 AM »
As most of you know, I have Cystic Fibrosis, a genetic disorder that, among other things, makes it difficult for me to gain weight.
 
But I really really want to gain some weight by the 9th! Like, maybe between five and ten pounds. I've already got a bunch of good fattening things lying around the house, including:
 
1) Pistachios
2) Twinkies
3) Girl scout cookies (Tagalongs)
4) Peanut butter wafer sticks
5) Butterfingers
6) Lots and lots of milk
 
Suggest things! Fattening things! YOU WILL PUMP ME UP (with food)!

Donuts.  Tasty, fattening, and not as filling as that other stuff.  Eat lots and lots of donuts.

Offline vudu

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #18 on: March 29, 2010, 11:01:00 AM »
You could stop pooping; this way anything you eat will result in a weight gain.  Stop wastefully expelling matter from your body!
Why must all things be so bright? Why can things not appear only in hues of brown! I am so serious about this! Dull colors are the future! The next generation! I will never accept a world with such bright colors! It is far too childish! I will rage against your cheery palette with my last breath!

Offline NWR_insanolord

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #19 on: March 29, 2010, 02:43:21 PM »
Working out requires energy and effort.

Whatever you do, don't have energy and effort. In my experience, those have been the two biggest obstacles in the way of weight gain.
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Offline Mop it up

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #20 on: March 29, 2010, 06:00:38 PM »
Is there any way you could transfer this "disorder" to me?

Offline Stogi

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #21 on: March 29, 2010, 06:31:04 PM »
As most of you know, I have Cystic Fibrosis, a genetic disorder that, among other things, makes it difficult for me to gain weight.

I had no idea. Doesn't that involve a particularly thick mucus in the lungs? Forgive my ignorance, but how does that cause you to lose weight?

But I really really want to gain some weight by the 9th! Like, maybe between five and ten pounds.

Chips and soda. Nachos and beer.
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Offline NWR_insanolord

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #22 on: March 29, 2010, 06:50:16 PM »
You could join the competitive eating circuit.
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Offline thatguy

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #23 on: March 29, 2010, 06:57:47 PM »
You could join the competitive eating circuit.

That's the worst advice in the thread.  You're doing a terrible job. Have you seen competitive eaters?  Most of them, especially the best ones, are skinny, or at least not fat.

Offline NWR_insanolord

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Re: Help Zach Gain Weight Thread
« Reply #24 on: March 29, 2010, 07:09:15 PM »
You could join the competitive eating circuit.

That's the worst advice in the thread.  You're doing a terrible job. Have you seen competitive eaters?  Most of them, especially the best ones, are skinny, or at least not fat.

He would only be doing it for about a week and a half based on his goal time frame; it would be incredibly naive to think he'd become one of the best ones in that period. I just figured it would be a simple and inexpensive way to get a lot of food, playing them all for chumps.
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