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Messages - Ravio

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26
Dear Tingle,

Ravio Inc regrets to inform you that our Uncle Ravio's Miracle Elixir will not be suitable for use in the resolution of your situation. The Miracle Elixir aids memory, brings energy, and promotes hair growth. It has no off label applications that could possibly increase your intelligence. It cannot be used to treat bed bugs. We cannot resolve any of your incontinence issues, though we have prepared a shipment of adult diapers for little people as a complimentary package, and out of pity for you and those that must be suffering from being in your immediate vicinity. If you have any additional questions or needing any additional services, please feel free to contact Beedle, and leave us out of it.

We're sorry (but not as sorry as you),
Ravio Inc

27
Ravio Inc regrets to inform all woodland woods that anyone not on Ravio Inc mailing lists is very likely to not receive an invitation to RaviOKCupid. If those currently unsubscribed would like to resubscribe, there will be a 10 rupee in-game surcharge.

Edit: Also of note! I'm accepting applications from deceased players, provided they do not contain anything that might be a tip or hint or anything toward any living players. Deceased player profiles should purely be just for fun. Living player profiles should probably also be just for fun as well, but... It isn't a requirement that they avoid in-game tips or knowledge!

28
Sample RaviOKCupid Profile:

Name: Link
Profile Photo:

About me:...
Likes: Cooking, Swordplay, Bug Collecting, Fishing, Archery, Tablets, Magnets, Bunnies
Dislikes: Like Likes, Moblins, Gannon, Being on fire, Skeletons, Fi
Brief Description of a Perfect Date:

Reasons why your match should go on a date with you:


Category responses can be words or images. Images fit for Link, since he is a man of so few words.

Send your profiles to me by tomorrow, 5:00PM PST. That'll be easiest. Matches will go out sometime around 7:00-8:00 PM PST.

29
Just an out of character heads up, there's not a RaviOKCupid website. This is all through PMs. Anyone who submits a profile to me, forward it to Khushrenada and he'll credit you. Just send it to both of us at the same time, that would be best.

Edit: My vote is still available for rent!

31
Hahaha, you're right Mr. Cucco, they would make a zany pair! Who knows what sort of couples could pop up with RaviOKCupid!

Edit: I'm going to open up profile registration for RaviOKCupid. At some point, Cucco will likely have a promotional image ready. What I need:
Profile picture for your character.
An about me section.
Likes
Dislikes
Brief description of the perfect date.
A favorite character quote.
Reasons why your match should go on a date with you.

I'm not going to do an example profile, but I'll need all of this to use RaviOKCupid's proprietary algorithm to find your perfect date!

32
I still do not trust that ravio darlings. Vote Ravio

Hello this is Ravio customer service. If you have a complaint, please press 1 and then 1 on your dial pad. If you have a compliment, please press 11. We will take your call in the order of priority. If your call has not been answered in... T W O hours, please hang up and try again.

Edit: Hi everyone, John Ravio, Founder & CEO of Ravio Inc here to let you know a new Periodical has been sent out to each and every one of your mailboxes, unless you've requested to be removed from Ravio Inc's mailing lists. Please check out all the contents inside!

Also of note? My vote is still for rent! 20 rupees for the vote. 30 extra for confidentiality. Yesterday's vote renter did not buy confidentiality, so contact me with 10 rupees to purchase this information.

33
Ravio Inc would like to take this moment to announce an upcoming project, expected to be released tomorrow:


RaviOKCupid!

Fill out a Raviofile (Like a profile,) and we will match you up to the person you truly are meant to be with. Hyrule hookups! Lorule lovenests! All will be possible with RaviOKCupid!

Naturally, RaviOKCupid will not be possible if Ravio is dead, so we hope you make the right choice, today!

34
For those unaware, https://ravizon.herokuapp.com has been updated with new items and a few new reviews!

35
Hello and thank you for contacting Ravio custromer Service.

Inquiry about hat? Hat is good. Good hat. Best hat on mountain.

Hat is sold out. No more buy. Maybe buy some other item? Best item Hammer. Best Hammers anywhere. You order hammer? I add Hammer to account.

Thank you, have a nice day! For further inquires on hat, contact Cia. Hat delivered by Cucco. Cia has Ravizon Prime. Same day delivery. Was many rupees.

36
Vote Dampé

hmmm...  interesting....

Interesting indeed! More interesting? As it stands, if I don't get paid 30 more rupees, tomorrow, you and anyone else who might be curious can pay 10 rupees to find out who rented today's vote!

37
Vote Dampé

38
ATTENTION ALL MAFIA PLAYERS (exception Great Deku Tree)

I would like to take this time to inform you that with the introduction of the shop, I will be renting my vote for some total of rupees and/or items from Madam MeowMeow's shop. I do not currently know what the pricing will be, but I am willing to sell my vote today to the first person who contacts me and is trustworthy. I have limitations, however. Even if you rent my vote, I will not vote against myself. I will also not vote for Mr. Cucco Dodledo, a valuable Ravio Inc employee who has earned my trust, regardless of any part he may or may not play in the events that are currently unfolding, which is none of my business, I am confident you can place your trust in him as well, as a Certified Ravio Inc Customer Service Field Agent and Vice President of Website Design, Product Delivery, and Product Placement.

I digress. If you are interested in renting my vote, I assure you in good faith that I will make the price reasonable. I will have two tiers of sales. If you rent the first tier, my vote will be yours for the day, but it will only remain confidential to the end of the day that you rent the vote. After that, should anyone offer a small amount of currency in-game, I will sell that person, and anyone else, information on who purchased that day's vote, provided that day is concluded and I have survived to the next day. If you rent the higher-tier vote for the day, it will remain confidential throughout the entire game. Should there not be currency, and instead only items from Madame MeowMeow, then one item will equal one higher tier vote rental, and in exchange, the vote will be kept confidential.

Please contact me as soon as possible within the day, as rentals will be first-come, first-serve. My vote is available for rental starting now.

I have just seen Madame MeowMeow has opened. I will trade 20 rupees for the low-tier vote rental, and 10 rupees the following day for the reveal or the purchase. I will trade 1 item or 50 rupees for the higher tier rental. Prices are subject to change.

Yours truly,
John Ravio, Esq., Founder & CEO of Ravio Inc


Edit: For those wondering why Great Deku Tree was excluded, see this post.

Double Edit: Vote sold. Come back again tomorrow!

39
For now I believe I will make a placeholder vote for Ravio.  Vote Ravio  The way the first day went down and the followup on day 2 gives me pause.

Ravio is have request. Ravio has bag. Important bag. More important than life itself. If non-Ravio vote out Ravio, please to make sure bag is buried with Ravio.


40
Okay so Dark Link wasn't the bomb mask like I was initially thinking. I guess Dark Links behavior makes sense in retrospect.  So with the bug net being revealed this is a good and a bad thing.  Good in that those who received no PM at the start of the game can be certain of their role but Bad because it means that townies don't have any protection from being killed outright.   So with that in mind if any players want to contact me if they didn't receive a PM at the start of the game I am sure we can get something going.




Yes and if have rupees they contact me. Will be for to going.

41
WHAAAAATTTTTTTTT?!?!


I HAVE A HOUSE?!?!?

No. Is shop now.

42
You know what, I'm going to consider letting you open a shop where you can sell items with a 20% chance of success. (The Ravio guarantee!) But first let me finish up on some other stuff first.

Shop is set up. Is in your house.

43
Question: Is can Ravio buy item, then sell item to non-Ravio at big price?

44
ATTENTION PLAYERS:

We are now accepting requests for internships at Ravio Inc. We have a free digital manual! Please contact your local Ravio Recruiter, he'll be wearing the ears, for more information.

45
Alright, everybody still seems suspicious. Dark Link seems a little too eager, Cucco seems a little too talkative, Moblin... I was more suspicious of him earlier, now I don't think he his Mafia. He seems too earnest. Fi is eager to attack Moblin, but I don't know if that proves anything. Tingle seems a little too sly... Agitha I don't think is mafia, but I'm not sure. That goes for the others as well, Hetsu, Navi, and who am I missing?


I think for now, Dark Link seems the most likely suspect. Vote Dark Link for now. Can we get a tally please?

Hello, friendly tree! Uncle Ravio's Miracle Elixir is sure to help you punch up that memory! Take just one swig a day for two weeks, and you'll be able to recall any detail you need!

Uncle Ravio's Miracle Elixir: Don't forget to take your medicine!

46
You know what shocks me the most about this Mafia game? Everyone just seems to use the Default Forum theme! I thought more people were using the Core theme but it seems like I'm the only one. Every account I check into is on the Default theme. The forum itself says there are around 57 people using the Core theme. I'm one of those few but who are the others? Spambots?

I've always thought the Core theme was a great way to navigate and see these forums. I guess I'm just a hard-Core forum user compared to everyone else.

I use the core theme on my primary account.

48
un-Vote Cucco

49
Vote Mipha

Fish is for eatin' not for lovin' UNLESS THAT FIsh has been out in the sun for 3 days and then its for both.

Hello, thank you for choosing Ravio Inc. for your shopping needs. Check out our fabulous new selection of masks!

I have looked into our inventory of fish, and found that Ravio Inc does not currently stock any fish. Stay tuned in the future. Ravio Inc will be looking to get it's hands on as many fish as possible soon! Possibly by threat or use of violence. If you or someone you know has any fish in his/her possession, please contact our customer service department and we will dispatch a Ravio Inc bandit/thief to steal your/his/her fish so we can sell it directly to you. Have a nice day!

50
I don't know how to roleplay as a horse, it's a work in progress. Considering how integral Epona is to the series, it's a hoof-y responsibility.

Get it? Instead of heavy? Oh dear...

You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?




We at Ravio Inc do not approve of your means of intimidation in order to sell items. We at Ravio Inc believe items should be sold with class. We at Ravio Inc do not believe in marketplace competition. We at Ravio Inc vote Happy Mask Salesman.

What?!?!  I hope you please reconsider...maybe we can have a joint enterprise as happiness salesmen?  Please think of all the masks we could sell...





Ravio Inc is excited to announce a new partnership with the Happy Mask Salesman. In exchange for his life, we're happy to announce the addition of a full line of masks in our inventory. Contact one of our customer care representatives for more information!

Vote King of Red Lions

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