« on: August 29, 2009, 09:53:38 PM »
I bought God of War on clearance and ended up hating it, so I traded it, and got like a massive $4 or something for it. The next day I found David Jaffe in my kitchen, eating my Corn Flakes. I was all, "hey come on now David Jaffe, you can't just eat my Corn Flakes without asking! And breaking down my door! And why is there sperm all over my toothbrush, I don't remember doin-" but veins started popping out of David Jaffe's neck. He was mad. Real mad.
He threw the spoon to the floor and came at me with all his might. Being shorter than a toddler, he simply bounced back upon making contact with my knee. "YOU CAN'T SELL SOMETHING I MADE" he screamed, tears forming in his eyes. "I MADE GOD OF WAR, IT WAS ME, I WAS THE SINGLE DEVELOPER, I PUBLISHED IT, I HANDLED PUBLIC RELATIONS, I ADVERTISED IT, GOD OF WAR IS MY BABY, AND YOU'RE SELLING IT, MY BABY!"
I paused. That poor man. I had no idea. I put my hand on his head (having to bend down in order to do so). "There, there, little guy, it's okay". I then threw him out of my house via the kitchen window. The cool breeze swept him away like a plastic bag.