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TalkBack / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
« on: June 15, 2011, 03:01:35 PM »The worst game featuring the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/extralife/26827
Some of you may have fond memories of this 1989 NES title featuring everyone's favorite heroes in a half-shell. You may actually remember enjoying it, but rest assured, it is a horrible game. Need proof? It’s readily available on the Virtual Console for 600 Wii Points. Because I’m a whore for the franchise, I actually bought a partially-sealed copy at a comic shop a few months ago for $20. I don’t even have a working NES, and I already have it on Virtual Console! However, I’ll never play that cartridge—I bought it just to have it (the cover art is spectacular).
What about the game itself? The best comparison I can draw is to Castlevania, in that, most of the time, you wander through side-scrolling stages duking it out with enemies who usually have nothing to do with the old comics. I remember Mousers, but I don’t remember guys made of fire or balloons that drop torpedoes. The game is actually divided fairly evenly between side-scrolling brawls and overhead map-questing. Every level consists of a whole lot of overworld navigation, in which the turtles wander between buildings and manhole covers and try to find the level's exit. In one stage, you get to drive the Turtle Van around, and you use missiles found in side-scrolling sections to blow up barriers. In another stage, you have to both find and use tightropes in side-scrolling sections to find the final boss. In yet another level, you have to find the Technodrome, which appears at random in one of the side-scrolling sections. And then there’s the dam level.
Bebop and Rocksteady are the only recognizable characters in the game from the 1980's animated series.It is absolutely horrible, and occurs so early in the game that you may never get past it. For one level and one level only, you must navigate a treacherous swimming section while battling: an unforgiving time limit; invisible, but very strong, ocean currents; highly-damaging electrical coral and traps; and a scavenger hunt for bombs. It is one of the most poorly-designed levels in gaming, and it's a miracle I can still muscle-memory play my way through it today without losing a turtle.
Oh, that’s one of the nice things about the game: you basically have four life bars, because you can switch between all four turtles at any time. Unfortunately, three of them are essentially useless. Leonardo, Michaelangelo, and Raphael have short-range weapons that aren't very powerful. Donatello has a gigantic staff that decimates everything it comes in contact with — especially bosses. Thus, you end up using the other turtles only when Donatello is low on health, and any pizza you find (which restores health) usually goes to him. Should one of your turtles “die,” they can be rescued starting on Level 3, though you can only free one turtle per level. Thankfully, the game hands out subweapons like candy, including ninja stars and a wave-like attack that is fairly powerful. Often, these subweapons are more desirable than the default weapons of Leo, Mike, or Raph.
Welcome to hell, population YOU.Despite the game’s high production values (looks great for an NES game and has catchy music) it just has too many gameplay problems to be worth your time. It features slowdown, the occasional instance of freezing, enemies that respawn the second you scroll back, the world’s most useless grid-based map, and insufferable difficulty. I can’t recommend this game to any but the hardest of the hardcore TMNT fans, as every subsequent video game in the franchise is far superior—especially its three direct sequels.
