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Community Forums => Stale Jokes => Topic started by: Stogi on March 07, 2011, 04:53:08 AM

Title: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 07, 2011, 04:53:08 AM
What's better than taking a dump?



Funniest/Most correct answer wins a cookie.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Morari on March 07, 2011, 07:15:33 AM
Taking a dump on a woman's face! Hawt!
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: bustin98 on March 07, 2011, 07:25:00 AM
A woman taking a dump on another woman's face is hawter. MMMmmm. open that mouth, baby. Tastes like almonds.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BranDonk Kong on March 07, 2011, 07:36:56 AM
Snoodling.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Khushrenada on March 07, 2011, 09:18:49 AM
Giving a dump.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ThePerm on March 07, 2011, 10:27:25 AM
What's better than taking a dump?

Motorboating
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BranDonk Kong on March 07, 2011, 10:28:01 AM
Being on the receiving end of a blumpkin.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ThePerm on March 07, 2011, 11:40:06 AM
snoogens
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 07, 2011, 11:53:40 AM
Being on the receiving end of a blumpkin.

stole my fucking answer gah!

hm.. GIVING a dump?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on March 07, 2011, 12:50:12 PM
Being on the receiving end of a blumpkin.

stole my fucking answer gah!

hm.. GIVING a dump?
Giving a dump.

steeerike two.

care to try again?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 07, 2011, 01:34:15 PM
You guys are all wrong!

Q: What's better than taking a dump?

A: Taking a massive dump.

That one was easy. I'm going to detract from Kush's and Wiggles score for trying to be too clever. I'm reluctant to give Brandogg the point for his blumpkin comment (which took far too long) but because of the wording of his comment and his snoodling comment, I won't. In fact, I'm going to detract a point because I had to look that **** up.


Riddle #2

Two chicks are giving you head. If you were to close your eyes, how can you tell which tongue belonged to whom?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on March 07, 2011, 01:50:49 PM
A: What difference does it make?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BranDonk Kong on March 07, 2011, 01:53:36 PM
Dude, if you have to look up blumpkins and snoodling, then I deserve bonus points.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 07, 2011, 02:00:09 PM
I had to look up snoodling you ass. I wasn't pleased.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on March 07, 2011, 02:02:17 PM
I just had to look them both up....

I learn so many things I didn't need to know on the internet. So many things that I wish I never knew on the internet. So many things that didn't have a name before the internet. So many things that didn't exist before the internet.... at least not in my world.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: bustin98 on March 07, 2011, 02:18:31 PM
Which is scarier? That Brandogg knows so much, or BNM doesn't know enough?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BranDonk Kong on March 07, 2011, 02:38:46 PM
I heard about snoodling on the Howard Stern show like 15 years ago. This dude I used to work with (trust me when I say he speaks the truth) used to get blumpkins from this chick that was basically addicted to giving head. The only way it coudl be better is if you were eating a sandwich or something too.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 07, 2011, 03:04:40 PM
BnM's answer, while good, isn't correct. Keep guessing!
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 07, 2011, 03:30:14 PM
I just had to look them both up....

I learn so many things I didn't need to know on the internet. So many things that I wish I never knew on the internet. So many things that didn't have a name before the internet. So many things that didn't exist before the internet.... at least not in my world.

Not true. I first heard of blumkins from my friends dad who was at least 45 and aside from mechanics, was not at all a techy. For all I know he's still using AOL, just sayin.
Being on the receiving end of a blumpkin.

stole my fucking answer gah!

hm.. GIVING a dump?
Giving a dump.

steeerike two.

care to try again?

BLAH!


Riddle #2

Two chicks are giving you head. If you were to close your eyes, how can you tell which tongue belonged to whom?

easy, remember which was the last one on your balls.

this thread is totally getting locked now, btw, but i'm glad to be a part of it.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 07, 2011, 03:33:31 PM
EHRR WRONG!

Like all riddles, the answer is simpler than you think.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 07, 2011, 03:35:47 PM
the one on the right goes clockwise?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 07, 2011, 03:37:22 PM
haha what?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 07, 2011, 03:40:24 PM
no idea.. just in before the locks
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 07, 2011, 03:43:10 PM
Well BnM gets this point for the best answer.

The correct answer is:

Q: Two chicks are giving you head. If you were to close your eyes, how can you tell which tongue belonged to whom?

A: You videotape it.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 07, 2011, 03:51:08 PM
booo!

lol
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 07, 2011, 04:18:37 PM
This one is incredibly easy.

A man is talking to a girl at a bar and noticed that her drink has two different shades of lipstick on it. He immediately walks away. Why?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ShyGuy on March 07, 2011, 04:29:57 PM
Obviously the hygiene of the bar environment is suspect.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 07, 2011, 04:32:03 PM
NOPE
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BranDonk Kong on March 07, 2011, 04:52:30 PM
She was the second girl s'ing that d.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: bustin98 on March 07, 2011, 06:24:19 PM
She's a lush and just picked up the first unclaimed glass she walked by.

That's not dirty enough, is it?

Two girls, one cup
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 07, 2011, 09:11:42 PM
She's a lush and just picked up the first unclaimed glass she walked by.

That's not dirty enough, is it?

Two girls, one cup

i smell a DING DING DING weiner
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on March 07, 2011, 09:22:39 PM
I like the 2 girls 1 cup answer, but I need one of my own, so....

A: Because neither of the 2 shades on the cup matched the shade she was wearing.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 07, 2011, 10:06:47 PM
Yup yup. Bustin got it, but BnM I like the creativity. You'll get a point as well.

Told ya that one was easy ;)

BTW if you hadn't noticed, I've been making these up as I go along. That's enough for today. Tomorrow I'll come back with somethin' new.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on March 08, 2011, 07:22:21 PM
bump nudge
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: bustin98 on March 08, 2011, 08:57:25 PM
He said tomorrow, mister impatient man...
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on March 08, 2011, 09:17:38 PM
Yeah, but he said that yesterday. It is tomorrow.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 08, 2011, 09:20:52 PM
Yeah, I've been a bit distracted. I'll bump with a riddle soon enough.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 09, 2011, 05:10:04 PM
I have an interim riddle while we wait;

Whats big, brown, constantly has some green, and always really high?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on March 09, 2011, 05:13:08 PM
I was gonna say me, but I haven't been high in years.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 09, 2011, 05:22:38 PM
ehh, there's a more obvious answer to this..
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on March 09, 2011, 05:30:22 PM
But why would I want to state the obvious? Where is the fun in that?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 09, 2011, 05:32:25 PM
because it's purposely not as obvious as I'm leading one to believe
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 09, 2011, 06:40:30 PM
I was going to guess myself as well.



Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on March 09, 2011, 07:30:51 PM
you were what I thought was the obvious answer, so I tried not to go with that.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 09, 2011, 07:32:25 PM
Redwoods. I assumed more people would guess Stogi..

Perhaps they didn't voice their opinion.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ThePerm on March 09, 2011, 07:33:07 PM
I have an interim riddle while we wait;

Whats big, brown, constantly has some green, and always really high?

Easycure
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 09, 2011, 07:34:26 PM
hehe.. maybe ;)
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 09, 2011, 07:41:04 PM
I was gonna guess a tree, but I fit the answer better.

NEW RIDDLE

A man walking looks down and finds a little box. He immediately knows who to give it to? How?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on March 09, 2011, 10:23:01 PM
His girl friend, because his dick was in it.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 09, 2011, 10:39:38 PM
Yeah that one was a simple play on words.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 31, 2011, 11:49:45 AM
And we're back!

What's the difference between a black and white fairy tale?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ShyGuy on March 31, 2011, 12:07:32 PM
a black fairy tale vs a white fairy tale? I'm scared to attempt to answer that.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on March 31, 2011, 12:14:27 PM
a black fairy tale vs a white fairy tale?

I was gonna ask the same question
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 31, 2011, 12:31:13 PM
yup

Edit: I figure you guys would be all over this. So disappointing.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ThePerm on March 31, 2011, 03:10:10 PM
a black fairy tale is black and a white fairy tale is white
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 31, 2011, 03:11:26 PM
*rollseyes*
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ThePerm on March 31, 2011, 03:22:42 PM
white fairy tales have witches, black fairy tales have witch doctors
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 31, 2011, 03:23:34 PM
*yawn*

Edit: Think more racist...ly
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ThePerm on March 31, 2011, 03:41:34 PM
black fairy tales are better at sports
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ShyGuy on March 31, 2011, 03:44:01 PM
black fairies walk like dis, and white faries walk like this!
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 31, 2011, 05:26:35 PM
I originally read it as "whats the difference between a black fair and a white fairy," not seeing the "tale" at the end. My immediate reply would've been:

Black fairy's have a natural flow anyone can get behind (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMtZfW2z9dw)

To answer the actual riddle: In white fairy tales, there are no blacks. In black fairy tales, there's only white women.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 31, 2011, 05:31:23 PM
*chuckles* not bad, not bad.

I'll give you guys the original answer to this riddle to get you thinking:

A white person's fairy tale starts "Once upon a time..."

A black person's fairy tale starts "YOOOOOO You ain't gonna BELIEVE this **** SON!"

but instead of the beginning, think about the ending.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: vudu on March 31, 2011, 06:00:32 PM
black fairy tales are better at sports

This is quite possibly the funniest thing Perm has ever said.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 31, 2011, 06:06:14 PM
*chuckles* not bad, not bad.

I'll give you guys the original answer to this riddle to get you thinking:

A white person's fairy tale starts "Once upon a time..."

A black person's fairy tale starts "YOOOOOO You ain't gonna BELIEVE this **** SON!"

but instead of the beginning, think about the ending.

White: "and they lived happily ever after"

Black: "You are NOT the father!"
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 31, 2011, 06:21:33 PM
black fairy tales are better at sports

This is quite possibly the funniest thing Perm has ever said.

How did I miss that one? LMFAO

*chuckles* not bad, not bad.

I'll give you guys the original answer to this riddle to get you thinking:

A white person's fairy tale starts "Once upon a time..."

A black person's fairy tale starts "YOOOOOO You ain't gonna BELIEVE this **** SON!"

but instead of the beginning, think about the ending.

White: "and they lived happily ever after"

Black: "You are NOT the father!"

Now you're gettin' it.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 31, 2011, 06:42:26 PM
close but no cigar?

White: /same
Black: "and they lived happily ever after" *cute record scratching to a halt* "Homie don't play that!" *white people running away from his blackjack*
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 31, 2011, 06:51:10 PM
Should I tell the answer or let it ride?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 31, 2011, 06:52:51 PM
let it ride, more people need to get involved. You'd think there'd be more racist comments on the internet, but nooooo NWR has to get it all backwards..
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on March 31, 2011, 07:13:37 PM
Yeah I said it above. I figured people would be all over this one. But I guess if my riddles don't involve a girls snatch, no one cares.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: apdude on March 31, 2011, 07:28:00 PM
... and he made it all the way home without being pulled over once.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ThePerm on March 31, 2011, 07:34:08 PM
whats the difference between black and white fairy tales

about 3 1/2 inches

Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 31, 2011, 07:43:47 PM
whats the difference between black and white fairy tales

about 3 1/2 inches



Someones on a roll!
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on March 31, 2011, 08:12:16 PM
whats the difference between black and white fairy tales

about 3 1/2 inches

Thems ain't no fairy tales
(http://i.imgur.com/n32M6.jpg)
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on March 31, 2011, 08:50:10 PM
thats on my instant que.. i need to watch it.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ShyGuy on March 31, 2011, 10:07:17 PM
Black Snake Moan is great film.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: nickmitch on April 01, 2011, 12:02:55 AM
In white fairy tales, there's marriage, then kids, then happily every after.
In black fairy tales, there's kids, then the adventure begins.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ThePerm on April 01, 2011, 12:30:50 AM
Black fairy tales have rhythm
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ThePerm on April 01, 2011, 10:01:15 AM
If riding a bus before 1964 you could only hear Black Fairy Tales in the back.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on April 12, 2011, 09:43:18 AM
Q:  What's the difference between a black and white fairy tale?

A: A white fairy tale ends with "And the man slayed the beast and saved the princess. And they lived happily ever after."

A black fairy tale ends with "And the appeal overturned the courts ruling due to new DNA evidence. He was released from Death Row that very night. He left to Canada and he lived happily ever after."

I think Perm's first answer was better than mine.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ThePerm on April 12, 2011, 12:59:48 PM
the difference between white fairy tales and black fairy tales...at least on these forums

http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=28778.0

http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=27754.0
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: EasyCure on April 13, 2011, 09:00:59 PM
Riddle: How many clicks does it take to get to a Philosophy topic in Wikipedia when starting at a random search about ANYTHING ELSE BUT (http://i.imgur.com/QgV1t.jpg)

Answer: Warning, first link is NSFW

1 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_fissure), 2 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_canal), 3 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_intestine), 4 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digestive_system), 5 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Small_intestine#Absorption), 6 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diffusion), 7 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diffusion_equation), 8 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Partial_differential_equation), 9 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mathematics), 10 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantity), DING (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Property_(philosophy)) DING DING (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_philosophy)
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ThePerm on April 13, 2011, 09:32:06 PM
lemme try to do it faster


1 is the same of course
2 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liver_disease)
3 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liver)
4 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_mythology)
5 Ding! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plato)
6 Ding! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosopher)
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on April 13, 2011, 09:43:29 PM
1 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_fissure)
2 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infant)
3 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human)
DING! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy)

What did I win?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: nickmitch on April 13, 2011, 11:25:12 PM
I was clicking the first link and got stuck in a loop. :^/
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Toruresu on April 14, 2011, 06:39:11 AM
Reminds me of that Wikipedia Hitler game.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Ceric on April 14, 2011, 06:57:52 AM
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tube_sock (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tube_sock)
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frostbite (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frostbite)
3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_terminology (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_terminology)
4. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vocabulary (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vocabulary)
5. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Word (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Word)
6. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language)
7. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communication (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communication)
8. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information)
9. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sequence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sequence)
10. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mathematics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mathematics)
11. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantity (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantity)
12. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Property_(philosophy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Property_(philosophy))
13. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_philosophy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modern_philosophy)
14. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy)
 
I didn't bother to hide them so you can see the progression easy from Tube Socks -> Philosophy

and if anyone is interested to go from Philosophy and back is
 
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy)
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reason (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reason)
3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rationality (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rationality)
4. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philosophy)
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on May 06, 2011, 12:53:55 PM
New Riddle!

I take a suitcase filled with a million dollars to a remote cabin in the woods. I bring it inside and leave it one my desk. I then lock up the place. A week later I come back to find that my suitcase is gone. Where did it go?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ThePerm on May 06, 2011, 11:32:03 PM
you didn't say what you did during that week.

Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on May 07, 2011, 12:13:29 PM
That's irrelevant.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Jamaican Mario Scholar on May 07, 2011, 12:15:10 PM
Did the bear rug eat the suitcase?
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ThePerm on May 07, 2011, 01:59:53 PM
That's irrelevant.

no because you came back to your cabin in the middle of the week and took it.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on May 07, 2011, 02:13:10 PM
New Riddle!

I take a suitcase filled with a million dollars to a remote cabin in the woods. I bring it inside and leave it one my desk. I then lock up the place. A week later I come back to find that my suitcase is gone. Where did it go?

On vacation. Probably somewhere expensive.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: Stogi on May 07, 2011, 03:14:52 PM
Answer:

I assume it's with the person who left a suitcase full of drugs on my desk.
Title: Re: Stogi's Riddles
Post by: ShyGuy on May 07, 2011, 04:09:07 PM
Hustlin'...