Post by: mouse_clicker on June 19, 2003, 07:30:42 PM
I based it on events Tolkien mentioned but never described- Glorfindel's death at the hands of a Balrog during the First Age. I must warn you, though- I'm a huge fan of all of Tolkien's work and have read a good deal of it. Hence I refer to many things that those of you who have only read the book or seen the movie might not understand. If you haven't at least read the Silmarillion it may seem very foreign to you. I'd like everyone to offer their thoughts, good or bad, as I'm constantly revising my work. Hope you enjoy it. BTW, dots are supposed to represent indentions.Valarauko
By Eric Baker, aka mouse_clicker
..........In the 473rd year of the First Age of Middle-Earth a great battle had been waged across the land of Beleriand. Being the 5th such battle of a massive war against the great malice, known to the elves as Morgoth, it brought about it a strong means of victory. Named Nirnaeth Arnoediad by the elves, meaning “tears unnumbered” in Quenya, it was the deadliest battle of the War of the Jewels to be fought save for the Great Battle, the War of Wrath, in which the Valar took it upon themselves to remove Morgoth from his worldly abode, destroying all of Beleriand in the process. During Nirnaeth Arnoediad, Morgoth unleashed his most feared creations, the Maiar known as Balrogs; great, beastlike creatures of immense size, with flaming manes, molten swords, and fiery whips. He had turned the tide of the battle with his minions, among others, and the elves suffered enormous losses. As they began to retreat, Morgoth tracked them down with his armies of orcs, each led by a Balrog. Chief among these elven armies retreating was that of Glorfindel, resident of the secret city of Gondolin in the Mountains of Echo. Close on Glorfindel’s flea was a troop of orcs and their Balrog captain.
..........Glorfindel ran at the end of his retreating army, quick to cut down any foe attempting to hinder them. As they reached a small hillock, Glorfindel ordered his soldiers over it to await his command. He trekked back down the embankment, anticipating the orc swath he knew to be following them. As he had predicted, a trudging army of swarming orcs filed into the valley at his feet. However, one such detail of his foes caught him off guard and sent an icy chill down his spine. Bringing up the rear of this great troop of orcs was Valarauko, a great spirit of flame and shadow. Valarauko ordered the halt of his army and looked mockingly upon Glorfindel.
..........“So, a lone elf-lord on a leisurely hike through the hills. What business have you in this great realm of Morgoth, Glorfindel?”
..........“Only to see my people safely home, Valarauko. I suppose someone of your stature would understand as much.”
..........“Indeed, that would be so, elf-lord, but I can’t have such a power go wondering aimlessly through my master’s land, not in these times. You pose a threat to us, and that threat must be destroyed. Though you are unprotected, I must rid my master of you.”
..........Glorfindel’s anger turned to pure hatred as the great army of orcs moved in around him.
..........“But to say I was unprotected would be a lie, great Captain!”
..........With a cry that filled the hearts of the orcs with terror, Glorfindel charged his own army headlong into his attackers. Tall elves with keen eyes cut through the embattlements of orcs, slaying all they came across. Valarauko was taken aback with surprise, not knowing what Glorfindel’s true power might be. Even so, the elves were far outnumbered and began to be pushed back out of the valley. As Glorfindel realised this, he finally drew his great blade, Avathar, and all the orcs shrieked in horror. With a yell, Glorfindel smashed through row after row of orcs, the incredible power of his sword slicing through all that opposed it, for this weapon he wielded was forged for him by the great Ainur Aüle in Valinor, and no mortal being could withstand it. Soon the great army of orcs was reduced to a mere handful, of which the remaining elves had no difficulty with. Hot with rage, Glorfindel crossed the valley intent on bringing down the army’s captain as well. He looked around him, eyes searching for the Balrog.
..........“Valarauko, show yourself, lest you prove to be a coward! No being can withstand the force of my blade!”
..........“A coward I am not, great elf-lord. However, I fear I may have overestimated the power of you. True, your great shadow-sword is mighty beyond all accounts, but you are a mere pawn without it.”
..........Glorfindel’s anger grew tremendously inside of him and his patience thin. Insulted beyond all measures by Valarauko’s arrogance, he tried one last desperate measure. Flinging his sword from his hand, Glorfindel seized a scimitar from a fallen orc. His mind bent on destroying Valarauko, he charged headforth at him, eyes blazing with malice. In acceptance of this challenge, Valarauko drew his own sword.
..........With a mighty roar, Glorfindel swung his orc blade with all his power at Valarauko. The demon lowered his sword to parry the blow. With nary a drop in rhythm, Glorfindel swung again, on the opposite side, his strike blocked a second time. Maddened with rage, Glorfindel gripped his blade with both hands, striking Valarauko’s own weapon with such force it shattered into thousands of shards that flew across the landscape. Glorfindel collapsed, his energy drained at last.
..........“Impressive, elf, but the battle has not ended. Rise!”
..........With that, Valarauko pulled from his belt a great whip with flaming tongues. Glorfindel gazed upward, peering at his nemesis through his daze. With a bellow Valarauko cracked it high over Glorfindel head, the tips of fire licking Glorfindel’s backside. Crying with pain, Glorfindel fell to his knees. The beast swung again and again, each time scraping Glorfindel’s back raw. Bearing scars across his entire body, Glorfindel again gripped the hilt of his orc scimitar. Valarauko laughed at him.
..........“You are defeated, great elf-lord. You can do nothing more. Soon your body will waste away to nothingness, a great victory for my master!”
..........Hearing this sent a rush of hatred coursing through Glorfindel’s veins. Tightening the grip on his weapon he stood. Valarauko looked down upon him with a smirk. Raising his arm, whip in hand, he sent it flying down at Glorfindel, whistling with such force his ears stung. Glorfindel stared at the Balrog. Crazed, he lifted his sword to ward off the attack. The whip coiled around his sword tighter than a knot, just as Glorfindel had intended.
..........With newfound strength, he ripped the whip out of Valarauko’s hand and flung it down into the valley. Surprised by Glorfindel’s cunning, Valarauko stumbled forward, dazed and petrified. Glorfindel took advantage of this and jumped up to Valarauko’s body. Clinging to his chest, Glorfindel twirled his blade in his hand and plunged it deep into the monster’s heart, thick, black blood flowing forth. With a tremendous roar, Valarauko staggered back in immense and unimaginable pain. Glorfindel let go of the sword and fell back to the ground, unconscious.
..........Valarauko, still bellowing in terror from his wound, seized the blade Glorfindel had ground into his chest and ripped it out. With his last bit of power left, the great Maiar used all his energy to split the cliff along a thousand faults, finally falling to the ground, defeated. What was left of Glorfindel’s army ran to his aid, but they were too late. Valarauko’s whip had dealt its damage, mortally wounding him. He had already died.
..........Even as they came to this fact, the cliff began to tremble. Retreating back beyond the fractures’ extent, they watched as the cliff collapsed under the great monster’s weight and plunged down to the shadowy depths of the Plain of Gorgoroth. In horror they watched as their own captain’s body fell with it and was crushed upon the jagged rocks at the foot of the high cliff. Broken and defeated, even in victory over their assailants, the fallen army of Gondolin trudged back through secret ways and hidden paths to their city, nestled safely away from the eye of Morgoth. Though they had triumphed in their skirmish, it was but one tentacle of Morgoth’s far-reaching might, and they were devastated by the loss of their great leader. The future did not look bright for them, despite the simultaneous death of one of The Enemy’s greatest and most feared minions. Without the will to go on, their race would surely fade away over the endless span of their lives.
The End
Post by: mouse_clicker on June 20, 2003, 09:18:56 AM
Post by: nitsu niflheim on June 20, 2003, 02:51:53 PM
Quote
If you haven't at least read the Silmarillion it may seem very foreign to you.
You're right. I have only read The Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Ring, so I had no idea what anything in your story was about. Aside from that, you have a knack for words and images. I'm impressed just so you know.
Post by: mouse_clicker on June 21, 2003, 09:59:34 AM
And just so everybody knows, Valaraukar is an actual Elvish word- it means "Balrog" in Quenya. Also, Avathar does actually mean "shadow-sword", also in Quenya, I believe.
Post by: mouse_clicker on June 22, 2003, 05:37:40 PM
Post by: mouse_clicker on June 26, 2003, 11:39:01 AM
Post by: Rafu on June 26, 2003, 11:45:13 AM
Post by: mouse_clicker on June 26, 2003, 01:52:28 PM
Post by: BoB007 on June 26, 2003, 03:40:09 PM
Quote
Originally posted by: mouse_clicker
This is sad- four fifths of the posts in this thread are mine. Do you guys just not like Tolkien's work or don't have the attention span to read a short story?
* raises hand *
I have a very very very very very short attention span.
Post by: mouse_clicker on July 01, 2003, 06:30:11 AM
Post by: Ms.Pikmin on July 01, 2003, 06:46:56 AM
Also, try not to take it personally that so many people responded to "I Like Pie" and not to your story. The pie thread was just silly and fun and didn't require much investment of time or thought (no offense to the pie thread).
Post by: mouse_clicker on July 01, 2003, 07:04:40 AM
Thanks for the kind words, too.
Post by: nitsu niflheim on July 01, 2003, 08:36:34 AM
Post by: Lecter on July 01, 2003, 07:39:53 PM
Post by: Uglydot on July 02, 2003, 12:38:34 PM
Post by: Juno Reactor on July 05, 2003, 07:08:55 AM
Ah, but don't worry about what I say, I've always been cynical towards domestic fantasy. I hate the names. But the movies are awesome. Aragorn kicks all sorts of ass.
Post by: mouse_clicker on July 05, 2003, 08:10:13 AM
I know the beginning didn't start off with a bang, but I've always considered that cliche. Not that I don't want to grab the readers' attention, but I also don't want every single one of my stories to start off with some sort of fight or chase- Fellowship of the Ring didn't, and it's my favorite movie (although there's a bit of partiality to that
). I tried to draw in the reader with a sense of epicness, but my first paragraph has the most outward references and if you don't like the names as it is, I can understand how you wouldn't be drawn in.
Post by: KnowsNothing on July 11, 2003, 09:58:55 AM
I have read a The Hobbit and all of the Lord of the Rings trilogy (not Silmarillion) and I must say, you do have a style of writing very similar to Tolkein. I have tried reading this story in the past, but I couldn't because IMO the beginning was boring. But Tolkein does confuse people with names and places with and weird puncuation marks, so i fthat's what you aiming for, good job. I did end up reading the rest though. And i was impressed.
Even though grabbing the readers attention at the start is cliche, it really must be done becasue a story really goes to waste if knowbody reads it.
Anyway, very good. It looks like we've got some talented writers here at the forum, as opposed to people like, say me. I might just post one of my stories here, just for the heck of it. I'll try to find the Piggie-wiggles, or The Chinese Choo-Choo, but the only story I have a hard copy of with me is "The Story of the Polar Bear" which is about a polar bear named Lupas that tries to get a fish out of a frozen stream. Defidently best-seller material.
Of course I can do serious stuff too, but writing crappy children's stories is much more fun.
And anything by a person with such an awsome name has to be great, except for maybe Eric Clapton.
Post by: mouse_clicker on July 11, 2003, 10:39:27 AM
I don't usually sit down and write stories- this one is the evolution of one I wrote in an early 8th grade creative writing class. I have a bunch of ideas racing about my head but I rarely take the time to actually write them down.
Post by: mouse_clicker on August 14, 2003, 02:25:22 PM
Post by: ThePerm on August 14, 2003, 04:37:25 PM
Post by: mouse_clicker on August 14, 2003, 04:40:19 PM
Post by: Bill Aurion on August 14, 2003, 04:46:51 PM
*bzzzzz*
ThePerm said, "I am going to write a page of horror...my genre."
Post by: mouse_clicker on August 14, 2003, 04:49:18 PM
Post by: Caliban on August 15, 2003, 01:09:06 AM
Quote
Originally posted by: mouse_clicker
Thanks, nitsu.
And just so everybody knows, Valaraukar is an actual Elvish word- it means "Balrog" in Quenya. Also, Avathar does actually mean "shadow-sword", also in Quenya, I believe.
I'm naive in Tolkien literacy so I have two questions:
1-Is Elvish a language fantasized by Tolkien or is it actually considered an official spoken language?
2-When you said "Balrog" in Quenya, are you referring to an actual word from Kenya(country)?
Post by: mouse_clicker on August 15, 2003, 02:04:40 PM
And Quenya is the name of one of the Elvish languages, not a reference Kenya.
Post by: mouse_clicker on August 20, 2003, 06:13:13 PM
Post by: >X< Kitten >X< on August 21, 2003, 05:56:53 AM
Post by: GCNMasterX on August 21, 2003, 08:49:05 AM
Hey..I made a topic about soda and it has almost 100 posts and coutning
I read a lil of your story and it was very descriptive...no, I didnt understand it, i've read all 3 in the Lord of the Rings trilogies though. If I wrote a story, it'd probably be about some horror thing or action thing.
Post by: mouse_clicker on August 21, 2003, 11:43:28 AM
Even if you guys don't understand it at least tell me what you thought of it (besides that it's boring, as it most definitely will be if you don't understand it). Tell me if you think the writing style is good or if it's too shaky, whether or not the story itself (sans geeky references) is entertaining and interesting or if it wouldn't work even on it's own. That's REALLY why I posted it.
Post by: mouse_clicker on December 23, 2003, 07:15:08 PM
Post by: nitsu niflheim on December 24, 2003, 02:24:03 AM
Post by: AJL221893 on December 24, 2003, 03:18:30 AM
Post by: KnowsNothing on December 24, 2003, 05:38:17 AM
I swear I've read this before......
*Mouse_Clicker did a MAJOR BUMP haha*
Post by: Oldskool on December 24, 2003, 05:51:02 AM
You should consider posting this on fanfiction.net!!!
Post by: evil intentions on December 24, 2003, 06:31:36 AM
Post by: manunited4eva22 on December 24, 2003, 06:34:18 AM
Post by: mouse_clicker on December 24, 2003, 07:12:54 AM
manunited: Indeed, Glorfindel, the same Glorfindel that saved Frodo at the Fords of Bruinen in Lord of the Rings, died once in the First Age. When Morgoth discovered the secret location of Gondolin, he sent a massive army of orcs, dragons, and Balrogs to destroy it. Ecthelion of the Fountain slew and was slain by their captain, Gothmog, and Glorfindel himself killed a Balrog but not without dying as well. When Elves "die" their spirits go to the Halls of Mandos where they await judgement and reincarnation, so to speak, based on how they lived their life. Since Glorfindel had given his life to slay a servant of Morgoth, a Maiar, he was almost immediatley allowed to be reincarnated, and decided to return to Middle-Earth (that is, until he left for Valinor at the end of the Third Age). Ecthelion was also allowed to be reincarnated, since his deed was even greater, but I assume he chose to go to Valinor rather than back to Middle-Earth.
oldskool: Huh, I've never even knew there was a fanfiction.net. Thanks.
And much gratitude for all the kind words, guys.
Post by: Ghost_of_a_Flea on December 24, 2003, 08:27:20 AM
Quote
Originally posted by: evil intentions
WOW, mouse_clicker! You should make a book with all this. Geezes, you could get millions! (I doubt it, but you could)
That's a noble idea, but if mouse_clicker ever went beyond fan fiction he'd be sued; all rights to Middle Earth are held by the Tolkien estate, so I doubt we'll see anything ever published by anyone.
As for the story it's fairly good; I followed but didn't grasp as much as I could have seeing that I've only read "The Hobbit" and "Lord of the Rings" a couple times. I do have to track down more to read, I've recently looked online and found the history of Middle Earth books and I'm considering ordering them. It's really odd for me because LotR is one of the few things that holds my interest outside of horror (rarely do I read anything not by Clive Barker, Stephen King, H.P. Lovecraft, Edgar Allen Poe, etc...)
I can't offer much in the way of critisizm, but honestly my focus is on horror (I'm a little obsessed). I've often thought about working on horror movies... in fact I've recently put college on hold to consider getting into horror movie FX... I'm more of an artsy person. (still incomplete...)
Anyway, great story Mouse, you should post more, even if you don't get a bunch of replies... at least there's a few of us who enjoy it.
Post by: mouse_clicker on December 24, 2003, 08:51:24 AM
As for further reading, I suggest first and foremost The Silmarillion- the History of Middle Earth books are excellent (I own 10 of the 12), but The Silmarillion gives you a very good history of the First and Second Ages of Middle-Earth, and long before, as well. Excellent read.
I love horror myself, but not in the traditional sense- I'm more a fan of Poe and especially Lovecraft, and their writing styles show up a lot in mine.
Post by: Berny on December 24, 2003, 04:12:36 PM
Post by: mouse_clicker on December 24, 2003, 04:16:49 PM
Post by: Berny on December 24, 2003, 04:17:07 PM
I loved the story. i <3 (one character symbol for your story)
It was marvelopendous. It was sturiffic. In fact, you should call up Chris Tolkien right now and DEMAND that he include that in an appended version of the Silmarilion. If he doesn't, tell him Berny knows where he sleeps.
Post by: mouse_clicker on December 24, 2003, 04:18:42 PM
Post by: Ghost_of_a_Flea on December 26, 2003, 08:43:31 AM
Quote
Originally posted by: mouse_clicker
You're right, Ghost- I could publish short stories like this only if they were absolutely free, and even then there'd probably be some legal trouble. I have written other stories, but I'm not a very prolific writer- it takes a long time for me to get an idea for a story, and then I have to actually write and rewrite it several times. I have one I like right now, but I hate the way I wrote it.
As for further reading, I suggest first and foremost The Silmarillion- the History of Middle Earth books are excellent (I own 10 of the 12), but The Silmarillion gives you a very good history of the First and Second Ages of Middle-Earth, and long before, as well. Excellent read.
I love horror myself, but not in the traditional sense- I'm more a fan of Poe and especially Lovecraft, and their writing styles show up a lot in mine.
I doubt anyone will have a problem with free "fan fiction" on a site or slightly distributed (pamplets, etc...); all it could possibly do is raise interest in Tolkien's work and attract more fans. It's all for a good cause, it protects the integrity of the work; imagine if it was like the movie industry and everything popular spawned a million sequels void of creativity, imagination, and originality. As for taking your time to write something, I believe Leonardo Da Vinci said something along the lines of "A work of art is never complete, merely abandoned." (not a direct quote as I'm doing it from memory, and I'm not even sure about its origin). So I don't believe you have to be a prolific writer to be a good one.
Yeah, I'll have to order it; taking your advice I visited the library to find that they were absent of "The Silmarillion"... they only had "The Hobbit", "Lord of the Rings", and "The Book of Lost Tales" (which I recently discovered I owned... don't ask how that happened). I actually want to purchase another copy of LotR and "The Hobbit"; mine are over three decades old and I'd hate to see anything happen to them (not that they're actually worth much, it's the thought).
I'm not sure what kind of music you're into, but I would suggest checking out Blind Guardian; the lead singer, Hansi Kürsch, is obsessed with Middle Earth and it shows in the music. They're a German metal band (they sing in English); they're one of my favorite bands. Their website is here. If you're not really into that sort of music you can find some of the lyrics here. Check out Nightfall in Middle Earth.
Post by: mouse_clicker on December 26, 2003, 09:15:39 AM
Post by: Ghost_of_a_Flea on December 27, 2003, 03:10:10 PM
Quote
Originally posted by: mouse_clicker
I'm always open to new music, so I'll definitely check them out. Oddly enough, Led Zeppelin also sings about Middle Earth from time to time.
Hopefully you don't regret it, they're a great band and they deserve more attention than they get. If you want a couple suggestions of songs then I'd try "Nightfall", "When Sorrow Sang", "Excalibur", and "Under the Ice".
Post by: ib2kool4u912 on December 27, 2003, 05:19:16 PM
Post by: manunited4eva22 on December 28, 2003, 07:10:34 AM
Post by: mouse_clicker on December 28, 2003, 08:47:07 AM
It's good to know that people can like my story despite not reading the book, or really even seeing the movies.
