Community Forums => General-3 => Topic started by: UncleBob on March 02, 2013, 11:50:07 PM
Title: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: UncleBob on March 02, 2013, 11:50:07 PM
So, as I mentioned in the "crap I bought" thread, I bought a tiny-screened, giant TV from the 80s that's super-awesome.
I've joked that I want to build a time machine so that I could go back to the 80s and show off my awesome TV to all the envious people.
To which someone pointed out that would be a really stupid waste of a time machine.
Go back and see real dinosaurs? Prove or disprove the life of Jesus? Kill Hitler as a baby?
No. That's for more men with far more grand dreams than I. I'm but a simple guy with simple dreams.
So, I got to wondering... what other really lame things could I use a time machine for?
Today, I think I came up with the best plan ever.
I will use my time machine to go back in time and sneak into this photo: (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v180/TheUncleBob/0291_2cb9_zps7f7c16e1.jpeg)
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: ShyGuy on March 03, 2013, 04:46:41 AM
I would use a time machine and go back in time to complete my loop and deliver myself some gold.
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: Pixelated Pixies on March 03, 2013, 06:53:48 AM
I cooked a frozen pizza last night and over cooked it ever so slightly. I still ate it, but the crust was a little bit burnt. I'd probably go back and take it out of the oven a minute or two earlier.
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: UncleBob on March 03, 2013, 07:19:07 AM
I cooked a frozen pizza last night and over cooked it ever so slightly. I still ate it, but the crust was a little bit burnt. I'd probably go back and take it out of the oven a minute or two earlier.
That's way too much effort. You should just use the time machine to send yourself a note telling yourself to take it out earlier. :D
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: Pixelated Pixies on March 03, 2013, 07:35:01 AM
I cooked a frozen pizza last night and over cooked it ever so slightly. I still ate it, but the crust was a little bit burnt. I'd probably go back and take it out of the oven a minute or two earlier.
That's way too much effort. You should just use the time machine to send yourself a note telling yourself to take it out earlier. :D
lol. Or I could send back an appropriately cooked pizza to the exact time when I realised that I had overcooked the original one. That way, in the burnt-pizza time line I would go to the oven only to realise that it contained two pizzas, one which was slightly burnt and one which was cooked perfectly (little would I know that future me had built a time machine to send back said perfectly cooked pizza).
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: UncleBob on March 03, 2013, 07:51:46 AM
But then you have to cook a second pizza and the burnt one would go to waste.
Now, if you sent back a good pizza to the point in time when you were all "Man, I'm hungry. I think I want a pizza.", then, you turn around and *bamn*, there's a perfectly-cooked, hot pizza just waiting on you.
Man, wouldn't it be awesome to screw with your past self like that? You'd think you had the ability to conjure up stuff out of thin air.
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: Pixelated Pixies on March 03, 2013, 07:53:42 AM
Now, if you sent back a good pizza to the point in time when you were all "Man, I'm hungry. I think I want a pizza.", then, you turn around and *bamn*, there's a perfectly-cooked, hot pizza just waiting on you.
You're clearly better at this time travel thing than me, lol. That would be awesome.
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: UncleBob on March 03, 2013, 07:59:03 AM
The down side is, since you didn't overcook the pizza, you'd no longer be motivated to build the time machine, thus would not send a good pizza back in time. Meaning that your past-self would then overcook a pizza, making you decide to build a time machine to send yourself a good pizza back in time. Then, since you didn't overcook the pizza, you'd no longer be motivated to build the time machine, thus would not send a good pizza back in time. Meaning that your past-self would then overcook a pizza, making you decide to build a time machine to send yourself a good pizza back in time.
Next thing we know, Apes rule the planet and weird, underground mutants worship a nuclear dildo-shaped bomb that blows up the planet.
All because of your precious, overcooked pizza. I hope you're happy, you nancy.
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: Stogi on March 03, 2013, 08:26:15 AM
I would go back in time to slap M. Night Shalamalamalan in the face.
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: UncleBob on March 03, 2013, 08:29:11 AM
I would go back in time to slap M. Night Shalamalamalan in the face.
What time frame are we looking at?
Go back too far and we might miss out on the original Stewart Little.
Wait too long and we could still end up with The Last ShitbenderAirbender.
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: BranDonk Kong on March 03, 2013, 10:12:29 AM
I thought this thread was for bad ideas. All I have seen are great ones.
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: Ceric on March 03, 2013, 10:36:49 AM
I would go back multiple times. Each time would be to save a French Fry that escaped while eating in the car before it becomes uneatable.
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: BranDonk Kong on March 03, 2013, 11:43:33 AM
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: Shaymin on March 03, 2013, 12:10:41 PM
Regarding the German guy: Killing him only makes things worse. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HitlersTimeTravelExemptionAct)
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: Ceric on March 03, 2013, 12:56:40 PM
I wouldn't be around if it wasn't for WWII. No mincing there.
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: pokepal148 on March 03, 2013, 06:52:57 PM
maybe to give insanos mom another round but i dont need a time machine for that
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: Crimm on March 03, 2013, 10:47:37 PM
I would go back in time to pitch the idea "Splash" to ABC executives, because clearly they're dumb enough to greenlight anything.
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: bustin98 on March 03, 2013, 11:02:18 PM
I'd go back to do something wonderful, but once I arrived I'd be fucking dead because I couldn't take the Earth, and the rest of the universe, back with me.
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: nickmitch on March 03, 2013, 11:11:02 PM
I would go back and help myself get laid more.
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: BranDonk Kong on March 03, 2013, 11:53:23 PM
I'd probably go back to a random time and give myself a handjob. Is that gay?
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: Shaymin on March 04, 2013, 08:08:08 AM
"In either case, yes, it is gay." (http://tailsteak.com/archive.php?num=491)
Title: Re: Worst ideas for using a time machine.
Post by: Plugabugz on March 04, 2013, 09:30:54 AM
I would go back in time to pitch the idea "Splash" to ABC executives, because clearly they're dumb enough to greenlight anything.
Considering the first season/series got huge ratings in the UK (the premiere episode got a 23.4% share) and is confirmed for a second season next year (UK shows are weird, the first season started this year and only aired 5 episodes, and season 2 wont be til next year), I dont think ABC thinks they are stupid for hoping the show will do well here too. I think the idea of the show is stupid, but it did well in the ratings.
