Community Forums => General-3 => Topic started by: Maverick on May 30, 2008, 09:47:09 PM
Title: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Maverick on May 30, 2008, 09:47:09 PM
While waiting in line for the Xbox 360 launch at a Toys R Us, a local homeless man approached us. The rest of the line all shunned him and looked away as to avoid conversation, leaving me and my friend standing there hoping he didn't stab us. He asked us "What are you guys waiting for?"
We explained that we were waiting for the Xbox 360 video game console. My dumbass friend then proceeded to ask the hobo "Are you going to get one?"
The hobo exclaimed, "WHERE THE HELL AM I GOING TO PUT IT?!"
At this point I was sure that we were going to be hobo-stabbed. Fortunately the hobo seemed to have a sense of humor and just carried along with his hobo business.
Anybody else have any other interesting hobo stories to share?
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: animecyberrat on May 30, 2008, 10:04:07 PM
I was the hobo and I regret not stabbing you to this day.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Maverick on May 30, 2008, 10:14:50 PM
That explains a lot, actually.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Bill Aurion on May 30, 2008, 10:29:11 PM
I thought this topic was going to be about GoNintendo for some reason...
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: bustin98 on May 30, 2008, 11:12:01 PM
I thought it was going to be about the new Hobbit movie.
Maverick had a dream he was Bilbo Baggins, and he happened across a ring while escaping the Golum. Then a dragon showed up and spilled bile all over him. Before he knew it, he was growing funny hairs out of his back and his fingers were falling off.
What wierd dreams Maverick has.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Maverick on May 31, 2008, 12:06:56 AM
Are you the Dream Police?
Get 'em out of my head!
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Khushrenada on May 31, 2008, 02:02:02 AM
This might be one of the top five stories ever told on these forums.
Minnie the Moocher being #1 of course.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: ShyGuy on May 31, 2008, 03:19:03 AM
I remember was back in the 90's I was working at K-Mart, supporting myself and barely getting by. There was a hobo who stood out on the street corner with a sign. A coworker struck up a conversation with him and the hobo said he lived in a tent up north and couldn't work because he had a bad back. He got a government check each month for $600. At the time I was making about $550 a month from Kmart. I wanted to hit that hobo with my crappy car.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: DAaaMan64 on May 31, 2008, 09:58:17 AM
I flipped off hobo hiding behind his sign trying to make a cell phone call.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Maverick on May 31, 2008, 12:18:31 PM
I remember was back in the 90's I was working at K-Mart, supporting myself and barely getting by. There was a hobo who stood out on the street corner with a sign. A coworker struck up a conversation with him and the hobo said he lived in a tent up north and couldn't work because he had a bad back. He got a government check each month for $600. At the time I was making about $550 a month from Kmart. I wanted to hit that hobo with my crappy car.
Where did his $600 dollar check go to? "123 Tent On A Hill Dr."?
I flipped off hobo hiding behind his sign trying to make a cell phone call.
You must ever be on the lookout for the ever present "False Hobo".
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: ShyGuy on May 31, 2008, 01:07:19 PM
I donno, a PO Box, maybe a relatives address, maybe a caseworker got it to him.
I prefer the rail-traveling country hobo myself. I've known people who lived that life for a while.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: animecyberrat on May 31, 2008, 03:31:27 PM
I honest to god lived out of my car for a whole summer. It was great, except the part about begging for food. But I had my sister for that part so I managed to get by.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: EasyCure on June 01, 2008, 12:50:16 PM
I honest to god lived out of my car for a whole summer. It was great, except the part about begging for food. But I had my sister for that part so I managed to get by.
i'm not gonna go there....
Here's my hobo story (one of many i assure you...)
I was 18 at the time and didn't own a car yet so i was taking the public bus to work on a hot summer day. The bus stop isn't very far from where i live, but its on a main strip that has a lot of small businesses, and the stop closest was in front of some sort of rehabilitation center and there were always weird characters hanging out in front.. some looked mentally challenge and some looked fine but then they'd speak and you can tell that crack or whatever drug of choice they were on fried their brain.
So i'm waiting at this bus stop because the rehab center has these stone slabs meant for siting, and they were in the shade so a cold seat was welcome on such a hot day. Two seats down there was a guy who was clearly homeless. A few minutes after sitting there, minding my own business listening to my cd player, i can see that this hobo had started talking to me even though i wasn't paying attention and couldn't hear anything. I felt bad so i pulled a headphone down and said "what?"
he was in mid-sentance saying "i'm not doing nothing. You look like a good kid. Some of these kids... they... these kids kick me in my sleep. I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING! i'm just trying to sleep and these kids come and kick me but not you... i've never seen you around but you look like a good kid. I'm afriad every night i try to go to sleep cuz they try to mess with me but you're a good kick I'M NOT DOING NOTHING"
at this point i'm staring at my watch wondering why the bus is late. I excuse myself to get up to check the schedule and he's still going on and on about how kids beat him and throw things at him cuz he's homeless. I felt bad... plus it was too hot outside of the shade so i sat back down. I'm sitting there, nodding to everything he says. We're on a corner mind you, in front of a street light when a cop car stops at a red light.. The bum see's the cop car and stops mid sentance to scream out to them "I'M NOT DOING NOTHING WE'RE JUST TALKING I AINT DO SH*T" then whispers "i'm not botherin nobody, you know you look like a good kid i don't have to be 'fraid of you"
The bus came, i said 'gotta go' and he thanked me for listening and put his hand out.... i felt reall really bad so i extended mine to him. His hands were so dirty but i did it, i shook his hand and hopped on my bus. i made sure not to touch anything with that hand till i got to a bathroom and washed it
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Maverick on June 01, 2008, 01:54:26 PM
You're a good kid, EasyCure, he had no reason to be 'fraid of you. HE AIN'T DO ****!
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: EasyCure on June 01, 2008, 02:30:44 PM
there was another time at that same bus stop (later that week actually) when i was sitting there, waiting for the bus and drinking water and some woman sitting next to me starts begging for some water. She was sitting there smoking, and started complaining her mouth was so dry. She asked if she could have some water. I said "no i'm sorry, i only have this one bottle." She asked if i could just pour her some in her empty bottle, i did since my bus was coming and i just wanted to get it over with. I pour it in, she drinks and goes "maaan thats good. thanks.... (looks around) wanna smoke some of this?"
i dont think i need to mention she wasnt smoking a cigarette...
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Maverick on June 01, 2008, 02:51:06 PM
So did you take a hit or what?
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: EasyCure on June 01, 2008, 03:28:04 PM
no i dont smoke
this one time a saw a drunk guy crossing the street and he stopped in the middle clucking like a chicken.. it was more one of those 'you had to be there' stories.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: ShyGuy on June 01, 2008, 03:47:14 PM
<-- Looks at EasyCure's location.
"Yonkers... Okay, let's make a note to never go THERE."
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: EasyCure on June 01, 2008, 05:22:37 PM
:( but what if i hold a tournement with fabulous prizes???
nah, i wouldnt expect you guys to come. I keep sending letters to the mayor to please change the cities name to Bonkers so passers thru know to stay away.
but we're not all bad... (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Tyler), see? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yonkers%2C_New_York#Notable_people)
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: nickmitch on June 01, 2008, 10:22:08 PM
While waiting outside a club one Saturday night, RAPPING HOBO. 'Nuff said.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: EasyCure on June 01, 2008, 10:27:17 PM
oh yeah?
Subway ride with Comedian Hobo, multiple sightings.
Gets on, announces everyone he's homeless, starts telling jokes:
"you know i heard michael jackson was sent to the hospital, supposed to be really really sick. Yeah, turns out he ate a ten year old weenie!"
laughs, and jingles the little bit of change he had in his cup.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Maverick on June 01, 2008, 10:36:05 PM
I'm so glad I started this thread. You guys have truly enriched my life with your tales of hobodom.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: EasyCure on June 01, 2008, 10:41:15 PM
more to come, trust me. ;)
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: ShyGuy on June 02, 2008, 02:53:42 AM
Yonkers notable people: # David Berkowitz, serial killer known as "Son of Sam"
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Svevan on June 02, 2008, 04:19:04 AM
We have two famous hobos in Medford: Downtown Dan and the dude that practically lives in Starbucks. Both of them are nuts, but one of them is actually insane.
I have hobo stories from Portland, but, meh, they're just awkward. Like a homeless guy threatened me physically by pretending he was going to punch me in the face after I didn't want to buy a bus ticket from him (was waiting for a bus just like EasyCure). And another one stole my lighter after I gave him a cigarette. I started to walk away, and he was like "aww man I'm sorry take your lighter," then he threatened me loudly and called me names as I walked away.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: UltimatePartyBear on June 02, 2008, 11:21:05 AM
I was initially disappointed that this thread wasn't about a Transformers version of Lord of the Rings (misread it as "Hobotron" at first), but EasyCure saved the day.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: EasyCure on June 02, 2008, 11:29:34 AM
Yonkers notable people: # David Berkowitz, serial killer known as "Son of Sam"
whoops! forgot about him hehe.. but i'm sure Steven Tyler and John Voigt more than make up for him, look at the hot daughters they gave us!
oh and svevan you just reminded me of another hobo story.
One winter when i worked in manhattan (guess where) i'd often have to leave my car at home in Yonkers and just take the bus down into the Bronx where i could catch the subway into Manhattan, i did this if the road conditions where bad from snow and ice.
So one night i'm on my way back home, waiting in the bronx outside the last stop on the subway for the bus to come that i can take back into yonkers (short trip really) and as usual i have my headphones on listening to music. I'm tired and just minding my own business when, the same as before, i see what i thought to be someone talking to me from the corner of my eye. At first i ignored it cuz i didnt want to deal with anything, but then i noticed he was just staring at me. Eventually i see his lips move again as he's staring so i think he must be talking to me, so i pull a headphone down and say "i'm sorry, what?"
thats when things got scary.. The guy just started shouting at me. "why you lookin' at me fo'?"
what? i wasn't..
"you been starin' at me since you got here"
uhm.. i was here first, i've been waiting here for 20 minutes...
"nah you been starin at me since you got here"
no, i've been standing here waiting for the bus for almost a half hour now, freezing my ass off and from the corner of my eye i saw you looking in my direction and saw your lips moved so i thought you might of been talking to me. So if you weren't talking to me, i'm just going to go back to doing what i was doing for 10 mins before you showed up and listen to my music
"yea whatever, you know you be starin' at people. I know your type, you's ignorant, stupid n*gga"
(ignoring him)
"yo look at this ignorant n*gga starin at me cuz i'm black"
(trying to ignore the fact that everyones listening to him and starin at me)
"yo you a friend of black people son? thats why you stare?"
the bus comes, i get on and i take my usual seat towards the back door. I'm one of the first people to get on, so as i'm sitting there i glance towards the front of the bus and see this guy get on the bus and he just keeps starin at me. I stared right back at him until he passed me since he thought i was afriad and i wasn't going to let him think that. and that was it.. he sat further in the back and by the time i got to my stop i noticed he was asleep.
Now he probably wasn't a real hobo, but he sure was dressed hoboish. The fact that he didnt have anything on him (shopping bags during the holiday season or any other personal items) made me think he was a bum who just saved up enough change to ride the bus to get out of the cold.
I was initially disappointed that this thread wasn't about a Transformers version of Lord of the Rings (misread it as "Hobotron" at first), but EasyCure saved the day.
Its funny because i didnt know what to expect from the thread title. I thought Hoboton was the original posters town or a town he visited and i was gonna hear a story about said town (one that would of been boring no less). But thanks! glad i could help!
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Maverick on June 02, 2008, 06:08:19 PM
I thought Hoboton was the original posters town or a town he visited and i was gonna hear a story about said town (one that would of been boring no less)
:'(
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: EasyCure on June 02, 2008, 06:35:08 PM
I thought Hoboton was the original posters town or a town he visited and i was gonna hear a story about said town (one that would of been boring no less)
:'(
hey i could of just never looked in, so that shows i cared right? right???
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Maverick on June 02, 2008, 06:49:26 PM
You should know by now that I don't tell boring stories. Do not cross me again.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Kairon on June 02, 2008, 07:36:43 PM
Anybody here ever play Superhero league of hoboken?
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Maverick on June 02, 2008, 09:24:07 PM
Hobo-Kin? The long lost families of hobos that abandoned them when they were needed most?
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Smoke39 on June 02, 2008, 09:29:00 PM
This might be one of the top five stories ever told on these forums.
Minnie the Moocher being #1 of course.
The Story of Minnie The Moocher (http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/forums/index.php?topic=16940.msg254648#msg254648)
The quotes got fucked up after the new forum software, but you can still read it. Marvel at wandering's drunken persistence.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: animecyberrat on June 04, 2008, 01:09:03 AM
I had a good story to tell, but I fucked it up in the confessions thread already so no need to try and retell it the right way.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Deguello on June 06, 2008, 05:58:04 AM
In my travels across this great U.S.A. I have actually come in contact with several homeless types.
When I went with my brother to Star Wars Celebration III (his buddy asked me to come. I only walked away with a picture of Admiral Ackbar signed "It's a trap!" by the person in the suit) there were several hobos milling around the convention streets in Indiana. I do, unfortunately have a naive outlook on some of these people, and also a soft heart for their plight, mainly because I have no idea why they are homeless and judging them needy and unfortunate is just as good a guess as judging them deserving of their status. So I'm a little free with my money and usually give more than a normal person would, like $3-$10.
So this one homeless black man was pretty beat up and had a styrofoam cup out. I put $5 in and said "please by a sandwich with this or something." He had a pretty wide smile and looked genuinely thankful. Maybe he was acting and maybe I did just purchase that good feeling from him, but it felt good.
That's not to say I haven't had bad and weird run-ins with the homeless population. One time in particular was when I was walking the streets of LA in search of a bus that I was unsuccessful in finding (first time, from the Georgia sticks) and this one homeless man looked right at me, and said "Heeeyyy~~~, a white guy! GOOD JOB."
I never was sure what he meant by that.
I have others that I'll have to remember, but most took place in LA, and I think a lot of the staff here might remember some with me.
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: Maverick on June 06, 2008, 01:59:48 PM
Title: Re: Adventures in Hoboton.
Post by: EasyCure on June 06, 2008, 02:18:53 PM
Secondedededed-a-roony!
i have to remember more of my bum stories. i dont have as many as my brother, he's aaaaalways got homeless stories to tell, usualy it involved him getting into an argument with them or something. Like this one time he says he was drunk and wondered into an alley to pee (cuz the bouncer kicked him out of the club cuz he took his junk out and was about to pee in the corner...) and yeah, he did his business, then a homeless guy starts yelling at him "you're pissin on my box man!" for, in my brothers words, "no reason."
