Post by: Stogi on October 11, 2007, 04:39:31 PM
Within the last week I met this hook-up. This...hook-up...can get me liquor for ridiculously cheap (as in half off or most likely cheaper). Needless to say I've been drinking myself silly ever since (bah nah na ne na ne nah naaaah, bah nah na ne nah: Tequila!). Anyways last Friday, I went back to my college town to reinforce some bridges (a metaphor). After doing the reunion/pre-game thing, a couple of friends and I went to this party across the street. The party was aiight, but after gaming some girls we decided to take them back across the street.
Then one of the most f*cked up things happened...
I was getting real feely and touchy with one of the chicks, and everything was all good, right? WRONG. I took her up to my friends room and we started to make out and this b*tch started lapping my face as if she was a dog. It was honestly one of the biggest turn offs of my life, especially when I had to spit all the slobber off my lips. I immediately stopped which provoked her to wonder why. I said some bullshit like "my lips are tired" and quickly walked downstairs. And into a fresh bottle of gin I drowned that memory (didn't work).
That was Friday.
Saturday I tripped balls on something called acid.........................
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not some drug addict; I really only focus on alcohol and ganja. Still, I believe that there is a time and a place for everything (you may, however, never have those two things together) and Saturday had both. I'm not here to tell you about what crazy sh!t I saw or did; just realize that it was f*cking crazy, one of the craziest, most influential nights of my life.
That was Saturday.
Fast forward to Tuesday. Now I'm just chillen with my brother at home, right? It's Tuesday, so theres a new House M.D. on. It's kinda hot so I open the back door but leave the screen closed so my cats don't run out. Afterwards, I'm kinda thirsty so I start fixing myself something to drink. That's when these two mothaf*ckers kick down my screen door and put guns in our faces. At this point, I'm scared sh!tless, fortunately though, that won't last. One of the dudes keeps yellin at me, barking orders like "Where's the f*ckin' money!" and "If you move, I'll f*cking murder you!" The other one (skinny one) starts telling my brother to pack-up sh!t; that's when the fat one started walking around.
"Ahh...you guys are some ballers huh?!" he said after looking at my newly formed liquor cabinet. "Bag up the Wii man; get those laptops, and get that 360!" I told him I'm not doing a damn thing, but he could take whatever he wants. He started to threaten me like "I know 50 cent got shot 9 times and lived, but you!......You, nigga, I'LL EMPTY A WHOLE CLIP!" That's when I went to my lower cabinet, took out some trash bags, and put it in front of him. Like a little bitch he took them and started packing up my sh!t.
I keep a Samurai Sword in my living room below my projector's screen. I swear, if I could of reached it before he had a chance to turn around, I would have sliced the sh!t out him, Pulp-Fiction style (they later took the sword too!). At that very moment, I saw my brother being pushed into the bathroom. Soon after I started coughing something fierce. It got so bad I thought I might throw up. That's when I saw my brother reemerge with blood-shot eyes and brown sh!t all over his shirt. He was pepper-sprayed. I'm not talking about a simple spritz in the face......this sh!t was all over.
The skinny one tells him to get on his knees.
"Hell no!" My brother replied.
"Get your hands behind your back BITCH!" The skinny dude yelled. He then began to tie my brother with an extension cord he found, then through him in the closest. He then took me and threatened me into the closest. I still had my phone on me (amateurs) , so when this whole next conversation took place, I was calling the police and whispering where I was.
"What's your pin number?!" That skinny dude exclaimed.
"I already told you: 1137" My brother said.
"That's not what you said last time" skinny dude replied.
"What the f*ck? Yes it is" My brother pleaded.
"I'm going to have my boy go to an ATM and see if it's right. If it's not, I'm going to kill you and your little brother!"
"Your going to go through all this trouble for $300?!" (300, because that's the max amount you can pull out the atm)
Soon after that last comment, we noticed the lights were turned off. My brother easily slipped out of his tying and opened the door. Immediately we saw that they had left. My brother threw on his shoes and bolted after them, asking anyone if they saw two black guys carrying white bags and a samurai swords.
Long story short, the cops catch them both with in 30 minutes and get us all our stuff back except for the samurai sword, my brother's phone, and $130 in cash. We later ID'd them and gave these detectives our statements. Once we got back to the crib, we packed up and went home to our parents.
F*cked up right?
Skip to today. I have a huge proposal (multi-million dollars) due tomorrow (Friday). I'm not the only one working on it, but I still spent all day today trying to finish (it's still not finished). Tomorrow I not only have to finish this proposal before 5, but I'm hanging out with my X as well.
To add to the ruckus....I HAVEN"T BEEN ABLE TO PLAY MAFIA, even though ironically IT"S MY FIRST TIME PLAYING.
So let's sum this up. I buy liquor at at least half off (Good!); I made out with a chick that kisses like I dog (Bad!); I tripped balls on acid in the middle of the forest (Good!); I was robbed by armed men (Bad!); I have a multi-million dollar proposal to finish (Bad!); and I'm meeting with this chick I may or may not love for the last time before I go to South Africa in a week (Good!).
Good God.
Post by: Sessha on October 11, 2007, 05:00:52 PM
Post by: vudu on October 11, 2007, 05:09:03 PM
Post by: Smash_Brother on October 11, 2007, 05:20:27 PM
And Kashi, that is an INSANE week...
Post by: decoyman on October 11, 2007, 05:23:15 PM
Post by: Stogi on October 11, 2007, 05:29:05 PM
Vudu, are you serious? I mean, you just didn't seem to be that type of person. Just goes to show how anonymous these forums really are.
Anyway, I'm really sorry to hear about your experience. That's honestly the only thing that scared me when I dropped them. I've heard about how bad those are. Hell, I even have a friend that went color blind because of acid.
Post by: bustin98 on October 11, 2007, 06:08:08 PM
Now he is a born again and not really comfortable with his past. Personally I think he is conflicted as much if not more as before. He really doesn't seem to know who he is. But he gets along and has a nice family of his own.
Me, I never even smoked in my life, hate beer, don't mind the chic drinks but generally stay away from anything that alters my perception of reality. But I'm one of those guys who can hang with anyone. I pass no judgements. But I don't want to hear no crying when a choice someone makes goes horribly wrong.
Post by: nickmitch on October 11, 2007, 06:59:49 PM
Post by: Shift Key on October 11, 2007, 07:09:12 PM
Quote
Originally posted by: bustin98
hate beer
so b&
Post by: IceCold on October 11, 2007, 07:10:50 PM
Post by: vudu on October 12, 2007, 06:52:15 AM
Post by: DAaaMan64 on October 12, 2007, 10:29:06 AM
Quote
Originally posted by: KashogiStogi
(bah nah na ne na ne nah naaaah, bah nah na ne nah: Tequila!).
Land of a Thousand Dances by Guy originally by Chris Kenner
Post by: that Baby guy on October 12, 2007, 10:31:43 AM
Post by: EasyCure on October 12, 2007, 03:10:02 PM
Quote
Originally posted by: IceCold
Oh damn.. that must have been quite the experience. Now, shouldn't you be writing that proposal instead of a 1000-word post?
lol thats waht i was thinking.
jesus Kashogi.. thats some crazy, f*cked up sh*t right there.. im glad you're alive to share the story but its crazy that the story happened to you. even the way you depicted the scenario.. it was like i was there and i got all tense wondering if anything seriously bad happeend. looks like someone wants you to stick around for awhile
Post by: 18 Days on October 12, 2007, 06:38:18 PM
Post by: that Baby guy on October 12, 2007, 06:44:27 PM
Post by: EasyCure on October 14, 2007, 11:33:56 AM
Quote
Originally posted by: thatguy
You should have done a barrel roll. The bullets would just bounce off...
LOL!
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on October 14, 2007, 12:18:37 PM
Vudu, abaout that Acid, thats exactly why I prefer shrooms. I was almost pushed into a murderous rampage because I was slipped two drops of liquid when I only wanted one. The things that were going through my mind and the things I was seeing through my eyes. Never ever again.
Although Acid has left me with a still unsolved mystery, I managed to light a cigarette by dry puffing it. No I didn't have a lighter, and I was trying to save the cig for later. I was dry puffing to appease my hand to mouth affixiation.
Post by: vudu on October 14, 2007, 12:30:10 PM
QuoteGoddamn it; I should think before I post random song samples.
Originally posted by: BlackNMild2k1
Vudu, abaout that Acid, thats exactly why I prefer shrooms.
A Daisy Chain 4 Satan Listen to the sample used at the beginning of the song.
It's not the full sample, but it's apparently really hard to find Meat Beat Manifesto videos on YouTube.
Post by: GoldenPhoenix on October 14, 2007, 12:30:16 PM
Post by: Kairon on October 14, 2007, 12:58:17 PM
Post by: vudu on October 14, 2007, 01:06:21 PM
QuoteThis could be taken in a way that if I made the joke I want to make I might get banned despite this being the Fun House.
Originally posted by: GoldenPhoenix
Hate to say it but it sounds like alot of these problems were brought on by yourself!
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on October 14, 2007, 01:17:33 PM
or atleast PM it over.
Post by: couchmonkey on October 16, 2007, 08:33:52 AM
This city always seems so safe after hearing about crime in the U.S.
Post by: Ceric on October 16, 2007, 01:50:59 PM
Quote
Originally posted by: bustin98
I have a younger brother who would party hard. He was living on the edge and Mom was blind to it. Or choose to be blind to it. This was many moons ago.
Now he is a born again and not really comfortable with his past. Personally I think he is conflicted as much if not more as before. He really doesn't seem to know who he is. But he gets along and has a nice family of his own.
Me, I never even smoked in my life, hate beer, don't mind the chic drinks but generally stay away from anything that alters my perception of reality. But I'm one of those guys who can hang with anyone. I pass no judgements. But I don't want to hear no crying when a choice someone makes goes horribly wrong.
lol. Same. I really need to hear more about your life sometime.
Anyways, KashogiStogi Sorry about all that happened. I'm sort of surprised that you are making a multi-million dollar proposal. I thought you were in College but it just really goes to show how varied it is around here.
Post by: Stogi on October 18, 2007, 10:37:21 AM
Quote
Originally posted by: BlackNMild2k1
Kashogi, I know how you feel. I've been held up at gun point before too. It was a very different type of experience and I didn't get all my stuff back, but I did manage to put the aggressors gun back in his own face. It was a very confusing moment as to how everything actually played out.
Vudu, abaout that Acid, thats exactly why I prefer shrooms. I was almost pushed into a murderous rampage because I was slipped two drops of liquid when I only wanted one. The things that were going through my mind and the things I was seeing through my eyes. Never ever again.
Although Acid has left me with a still unsolved mystery, I managed to light a cigarette by dry puffing it. No I didn't have a lighter, and I was trying to save the cig for later. I was dry puffing to appease my hand to mouth affixiation.
Shrooms aye? I like them too despite having a couple bad trips where I thought this bitch was the devil and grew horns, and another time where I thought my friend had electrocuted himself.
Anyway, I'd like to hear that story sometime. Sounds pretty f*ck up.
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on October 18, 2007, 06:22:01 PM
Post by: vudu on October 19, 2007, 06:50:04 AM
Post by: Stogi on October 19, 2007, 07:18:18 AM
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on October 20, 2007, 08:31:21 AM
I kept dodging all his attacks while watching my friend who drove me there panic and try to run back to his car. 2 of the guys with baseball bats were squaring up on him and he couldn't get in his car (even though the window was down). But the guy with the gun was still advancing on me screaming obscenities and trying to pistol whip me. Theis is when I remember the knife that I had in me pocket. But just when I reach for the knife in my pocket I trip on a curb that came up behind me, fell on the sidewalk and grinded the clip that was holding it up at the top of my pocket off letting the knife slide down to the bottom of my pocket where it couldnt' be reached fast enough.
I jumped back to my feet just in time to parry an up close and personal pistol whipping(and this is where all those hours of watching Bruce Lee movies had come in handy). I'm not really sure how I reacted so precisely, but I did a series of kug fu hand movements which reversed the situation on my attacker. Somehow I got him off balance, put my hands on the gun, dropped him o the ground(WWF was one of my favorite thing to watch when I was younger too)and while he still had his hands on his gun and finger still on the trigger, I was pointing it back in his own face with my finger behind the trigger so that it couldn't be pulled unless I moved my finger.
It really was a moment of beauty, I wish I could have watched it happen
We were both on the ground now, he's ion his back with his gun pointed under his chin, and I'm on my right side with my left hand holding his gun in the position it was in.
My would be "attacker" now feeling defeated, pleaded with me to let him up and stop pointing the gun in his face. Thats right when one of his friends(with the baseball bat) came up behind me and threatened to hit a home run with my head if I didn't let him(the guy with the gun) up. Thats when I remembered about my friend that drove me there. I didn't see him anywhere but his car was still sitting there in the parking lot. So I let him up, and he and his friends took off running and disappeared into the trees about 70 yards away, just as the police show up(who I assume were called by the guy that was stretching).
Apparently the friend that I was with(the one that drove me there) had panicked when he realized his car door was locked, even though the window was open, and took off running so that he didn't have to deal with the guys that had the baseball bats. But he ran all the way over to a friends house and was trying to get some reinforcement. They all arrived too late, since the situation was resolved by then and the cops had already shown up.
So the only damage done after that whole event was to the pride of my so called "attacker" for getting the script flipped on him and having his own weapon used against him.
They did take off with some of our stuff from inside the car, but we managed to get most of that back later, but how all that happened is not a story for me to tell.
