Post by: AennilQ on November 18, 2005, 03:05:19 PM
Post by: KnowsNothing on November 18, 2005, 05:44:20 PM
Post by: NinGurl69 *huggles on November 18, 2005, 07:26:42 PM
I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance!
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on November 18, 2005, 08:16:44 PM
back pains
headaches
cramps
nausea
bleeding gums
heart burn
acid reflux
flatulence
expolosive diarrhea
and possible death
Post by: UncleBob on November 18, 2005, 08:28:22 PM
Post by: NinGurl69 *huggles on November 18, 2005, 09:08:56 PM
Post by: KDR_11k on November 18, 2005, 09:12:14 PM
Post by: King of Twitch on November 18, 2005, 09:32:52 PM
Post by: KDR_11k on November 19, 2005, 12:08:54 AM
Post by: mantidor on November 19, 2005, 05:26:44 AM
Post by: King of Twitch on November 19, 2005, 03:42:19 PM
Post by: KnowsNothing on November 19, 2005, 05:52:35 PM
SIDE EFFECTS: This drug may cause joint pain, nausea, head-ache, or shortness of breath. You may also experience muscle aches, rapid heartbeat, and ringing in the cars. If you feel faint, call your doctor. Do not consume alcohol while taking this pill; likewise, avoid red meat, shellfish, and vegetables. O.K. foods: flounder. Under no circumstances eat yak. Men can expect painful urination while sitting, especially if the penis is caught between the toilet seat and the bowl. Projectile vomiting is common in thirty per cent of users-sorry, fifty per cent. If you undergo disorienting nausea accompanied by migraine and raspy breathing, double the dosage. Leg cramps are to be expected; one knee-buckler per day is normal. Bowel movements may become frequent-in fact, every ten minutes. If bowel movements become greater than twelve per hour, consult your doctor, or any doctor, or just anyone who will speak to you. You may find yourself becoming lost or vague; this would be a good time to write a screenplay. Do not pilot a plane, unless you are among the ten per cent of users who experience "spontaneous test-pilot knowledge." If your hair begins to smell like burning tires, move away from any buildings or populated areas, and apply tincture of iodine to the head until you no longer hear what could be taken for a "countdown." May cause stigmata in Mexicans. If a fungus starts to grow between your eyebrows, call the Guinness Book of World Records. May induce a tendency to compulsively repeat the phrase "no can do." This drug may cause visions of the Virgin Mary to appear in treetops. If this happens, open a souvenir shop. There may be an overwhelming impulse to shout out during a Catholic Mass, "I'm gonna wop you wid da ugly stick!" You may feel a powerful sense of impending doom; this is because you are about to die. Men may experience impotence, but only during intercourse. Otherwise, a powerful erection will accompany your daily "walking-around time." Do not take this product if you are uneasy with lockjaw. Do not be near a ringing telephone that works at 900 MHz or you will be very dead, very fast. We are assuming you have had chicken pox. You also may experience a growing dissatisfaction with life along with a deep sense of melancholy-join the club! Do not be concerned if you arouse a few ticks from a Geiger counter. You might want to get a one-month trial subscription to Extreme Fighting. The hook shape of the pill will often cause it to become caught in the larynx. To remove, jam a finger down your throat while a friend holds your nose to prevent the pill from lodging in a nasal passage. Then throw yourself stomach first on the back portion of a chair. The expulsion of air should eject the pill out of the mouth, unless it goes into a sinus cavity, or the brain. WARNING: This drug may shorten your intestines by twenty-one feet. Has been known to cause birth defects in the user retroactively. Passing in front of TV may cause the screen to moiré. Women often feel a loss of libido, including a woo-octave lowering of the voice, an increase in ankle hair, and perhaps the lowering of a testicle. If this happens, women should write a detailed description of their last three sexual encounters and mail it to me, Bob, Trailer Six, Fancyland Trailer Park, Encino, CA. Or E-mail me at hot-guy.com. Discontinue use immediately if you feel that your teeth are receiving radio broadcasts. You may experience "lumpy back" syndrome, but we are actively seeking a cure. Bloated fingertips on the heart-side hand are common. When finished with the dosage, be sure to allow plenty of "quiet time" in order to retrain the eye to move off stationary objects. Flotation devices at sea will become pointless, as the user of this drug will develop a stone-like body density; therefore, if thrown overboard, contact your doctor. (This product may contain one or more of the following: bungee cord, plankton, rubber, crack cocaine, pork bladders, aromatic oils, gunpowder, corn husk, glue, bee pollen, dung, English muffin, poached eggs, ham, Hollandaise sauce, crushed saxophone reeds.) Sensations of levitation are illusory, as is the sensatino of having a "phantom" third arm. Users may experience certain inversions of language. Acceptable: "Hi, are how you?" Unacceptable: "The rain in Sprain slays blainly on the phsssst." Twenty minutes after taking the pills, you will feel an insatiable craving to take another dose. AVOID THIS WITH ALL YOUR POWER. It is advisable to have a friend handcuff you to a large kitchen appliance, ESPECIALLY ONE THAT WILL NOT FIT THROUGH THE DOORWAY TO WHERE THE PILLS ARE. You should also be out of reach of any weapon-like utensil with which you could threaten friends or family, who should also be briefed to not give you the pills, no matter how much you sweet-talk them.
I wish I could lay claim to this piece of wizardry, but lol no steve martin. At one point I had this whole thing memorized, go me.
Post by: nemo_83 on November 20, 2005, 11:46:51 AM
The best thing for acne is simply facial cleansers like Purpose soap, Neutrogena, and moisturizers. Alcoholic medications can irritate the acne to the point where it just gets worse; and that crap stings and stinks of not getting any dates.
Actually aside from cleansers the absolute best thing for your skin is actually the sun. But that jackass only comes around so many months of the year. The sun is not all bad for your skin; especially if you have acne. It may not work for everyone; some people just burn, but a tan can change the properties of your skin.
There are lots of skin products and vitamins that will help lesson scaring. Strong benzoil based products on the other hand can worsen scaring.
You have to look at what may be causing the acne; maybe your water is too soft or the washing detergent you use is causing breakouts. It could be something as simple as your shampoo or conditioner.
Post by: Dasmos on November 20, 2005, 01:53:04 PM
A simple analogy is a pile of bullies (the acne) are standing at one side of an oval, just chillaxing and making trouble. Then suddenly thousands of nerds (the marg) come and cover the whole oval. The bullies can't esacpe the nerds by moving anywhere else on the oval and there are too mnay to simply bully their way out. So they leave hoping to find another oval to "hang" at......The bullies never return for fear that again the nerds will come and rain on their "cool" parade once more.
Simple and or effective.
Post by: King of Twitch on November 20, 2005, 07:39:05 PM
Quote
Originally posted by: KnowsNothing
DOSAGE: take two tablets every six hours for joint pain.
SIDE EFFECTS: This drug may cause joint pain, nausea, head-ache, or shortness of breath. You may also experience muscle aches, rapid heartbeat, and ringing in the cars. If you feel faint, call your doctor. Do not consume alcohol while taking this pill; likewise, avoid red meat, shellfish, and vegetables. O.K. foods: flounder. Under no circumstances eat yak. Men can expect painful urination while sitting, especially if the penis is caught between the toilet seat and the bowl. Projectile vomiting is common in thirty per cent of users-sorry, fifty per cent. If you undergo disorienting nausea accompanied by migraine and raspy breathing, double the dosage. Leg cramps are to be expected; one knee-buckler per day is normal. Bowel movements may become frequent-in fact, every ten minutes. If bowel movements become greater than twelve per hour, consult your doctor, or any doctor, or just anyone who will speak to you. You may find yourself becoming lost or vague; this would be a good time to write a screenplay. Do not pilot a plane, unless you are among the ten per cent of users who experience "spontaneous test-pilot knowledge." If your hair begins to smell like burning tires, move away from any buildings or populated areas, and apply tincture of iodine to the head until you no longer hear what could be taken for a "countdown." May cause stigmata in Mexicans. If a fungus starts to grow between your eyebrows, call the Guinness Book of World Records. May induce a tendency to compulsively repeat the phrase "no can do." This drug may cause visions of the Virgin Mary to appear in treetops. If this happens, open a souvenir shop. There may be an overwhelming impulse to shout out during a Catholic Mass, "I'm gonna wop you wid da ugly stick!" You may feel a powerful sense of impending doom; this is because you are about to die. Men may experience impotence, but only during intercourse. Otherwise, a powerful erection will accompany your daily "walking-around time." Do not take this product if you are uneasy with lockjaw. Do not be near a ringing telephone that works at 900 MHz or you will be very dead, very fast. We are assuming you have had chicken pox. You also may experience a growing dissatisfaction with life along with a deep sense of melancholy-join the club! Do not be concerned if you arouse a few ticks from a Geiger counter. You might want to get a one-month trial subscription to Extreme Fighting. The hook shape of the pill will often cause it to become caught in the larynx. To remove, jam a finger down your throat while a friend holds your nose to prevent the pill from lodging in a nasal passage. Then throw yourself stomach first on the back portion of a chair. The expulsion of air should eject the pill out of the mouth, unless it goes into a sinus cavity, or the brain. WARNING: This drug may shorten your intestines by twenty-one feet. Has been known to cause birth defects in the user retroactively. Passing in front of TV may cause the screen to moiré. Women often feel a loss of libido, including a woo-octave lowering of the voice, an increase in ankle hair, and perhaps the lowering of a testicle. If this happens, women should write a detailed description of their last three sexual encounters and mail it to me, Bob, Trailer Six, Fancyland Trailer Park, Encino, CA. Or E-mail me at hot-guy.com. Discontinue use immediately if you feel that your teeth are receiving radio broadcasts. You may experience "lumpy back" syndrome, but we are actively seeking a cure. Bloated fingertips on the heart-side hand are common. When finished with the dosage, be sure to allow plenty of "quiet time" in order to retrain the eye to move off stationary objects. Flotation devices at sea will become pointless, as the user of this drug will develop a stone-like body density; therefore, if thrown overboard, contact your doctor. (This product may contain one or more of the following: bungee cord, plankton, rubber, crack cocaine, pork bladders, aromatic oils, gunpowder, corn husk, glue, bee pollen, dung, English muffin, poached eggs, ham, Hollandaise sauce, crushed saxophone reeds.) Sensations of levitation are illusory, as is the sensatino of having a "phantom" third arm. Users may experience certain inversions of language. Acceptable: "Hi, are how you?" Unacceptable: "The rain in Sprain slays blainly on the phsssst." Twenty minutes after taking the pills, you will feel an insatiable craving to take another dose. AVOID THIS WITH ALL YOUR POWER. It is advisable to have a friend handcuff you to a large kitchen appliance, ESPECIALLY ONE THAT WILL NOT FIT THROUGH THE DOORWAY TO WHERE THE PILLS ARE. You should also be out of reach of any weapon-like utensil with which you could threaten friends or family, who should also be briefed to not give you the pills, no matter how much you sweet-talk them.
I did all this but all it did was unlock Luigi in Mario 64
Post by: Mario on November 20, 2005, 08:48:08 PM
Post by: Ian Sane on November 21, 2005, 07:00:23 AM
Grow old so that you're no longer a greasy emo high school with bad posture and even worse poetry skills. Other benefits include having a consistent vocal range and a considerably better taste in haircuts.
Side effects include an ever increasing waist size, back hair and a receding hairline. If you think having zits is bad wait until the first time you notice a mole that used to be concealed by hair is now visible.
Post by: King of Twitch on November 21, 2005, 07:20:59 PM
Post by: Bloodworth on November 21, 2005, 08:25:55 PM
The title was asking for it already, and then the thread just stuck a gun to my head and made me.
Post by: BlackNMild2k1 on November 21, 2005, 08:43:53 PM
Quote
Originally posted by: Ian Sane
Though experience I have found an effective way to significantly reduce break outs.
Grow old so that you're no longer a greasy emo high school with bad posture and even worse poetry skills. Other benefits include having a consistent vocal range and a considerably better taste in haircuts.
Side effects include an ever increasing waist size, back hair and a receding hairline. If you think having zits is bad wait until the first time you notice a mole that used to be concealed by hair is now visible.
WOW, no wonder you're so bitter...
but, as an attractive young black man with a full head of hair and never having had an acre problem, much less a break out, really has no business in this thread now do I?
Post by: wandering on December 17, 2005, 11:29:41 PM
Post by: Khushrenada on December 18, 2015, 12:12:03 AM
him
ends,
