Topic: Learn Something New Today!!!!

[BlackNMild2k1]

I'd let him borrow my "white and soft room" but I really rather not share it.

[BlackNMild2k1]

at the request of IceCold

Quote
Originally posted by: BlackNMild2k1
Did you know...

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood! 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off !
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....)

A cat's urine glows under a black light
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

(no seriously, a 30 minute orgasm O.O!!! I think I would die from over stimulation and dehydration)

[BlackNMild2k1]

Gotta teach these women the rules from our point of view.

The Guys' Rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
Or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how y ou want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the has sle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1 . I am in shape .   Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that?  It's like camping.

[BlackNMild2k1]

Lesson of the Day: Oh how times have changed!



DISCLAIMER: Please note that the picture above is not representative of BlackNMild2k1, the forum or NWR in anyway as they are the writings of a private publication "Housekeeping Weekly" circa 1955. the information published in this thread in the Funhouse are to be used for informational purposes only and once again DO NOT reflect the interest or beliefs of BNM, The Funhouse or NWR in any way shape or form.

[Mop it up]

It's such a shame how these days women are actually treated with some respect.

[NWR_insanolord]

It's such a shame how these days women are actually treated with some respect.

I know, right?

[Djunknown]

A small, practical guide to making video game characters.

Some choice bits:

Before designing a videogame character, always see what the marketing department needs at the moment. Don't worry – they know what they're doing. Keeping their finger on the pulse of what was popular last year, marketers have the tools and the unpaid interns to help your characters seamlessly fit in with the world's most lucrative brands while keeping open all merchandizing options.

Female character should also look like they have daddy issues. You want your women's clothes to say, "My Dad left my Mom when I was seven and now I spend every waking moment trying to impress men in the desperate hope to have some sort of male authority figure in my life."

In the long tradition of bad art, the shorthand for depth is to give your character a cool name. Since videogames are well established as a bad art form, an awesome name is entirely necessary when creating your hero.

[EasyCure]

It's such a shame how these days too many women don't respect themselves.

[Stogi]

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

lol So true...*wipes tear*

[DrFunkenstein]

In the words of Papa Smurf: "Shut up, bitches!"

[BlackNMild2k1]

Oh how times have changed....



The Original Game Box - That would never make it through focus grouping today.

[BlackNMild2k1]

It's been a while, but today we learn something new.

We Learn CPR.... the sexy way
http://supersexycpr.com/cpr.html


edit: NSFW

[ThePerm]

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is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four Two plus two is four 

2+2= ((20+20)/10) - ((4+ (-2)) * 2)-8)+4)
2+2= (4) - ((4+ (-2)) * 2)-8)+4)
2+2= (4) - (2) * 2)-8)+4)
2+2= (4) - (4)-8)+4)
2+2= (4) - (-4)+4)
2+2= (4) - (0)
4=4


2+2= (((((20+20)/10) + ((4+ (-2))) * 2))-8)+4)
2+2= ((4) + ((4+ (-2)) * 2)-8)+4)
2+2= ((4) +(2) * 2))-8)+4)
2+2= ((4) +(4))-8)+4)
2+2= 8-8+4
2+2= 0 +4
4=4

damn parentheses get so confusing when not on paper

[BlackNMild2k1]

I learned something new today... actually just moments ago.

It's something I always thought was a really tedious task and must make working clothing retail a headache. I saw this and thought "surely there is magic at work here", but after trying it for myself, I realized it works perfectly EVERYTIME!

How to fold a t-shirt in 2.5 seconds.


go here for specific instructions.
http://www.fold-your-shirt.com/

I'm about to go refold all of my shirts.


pre-post edit: while we are on the subject of clothes, here is a quick way of tying your shoes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OazKbYP7Sd0

[ThePerm]

i havent tied shoes in forever, i went all Velcro a while ago

and thats how i've always tied my shoes, except i'm left handed so the opposite hands do the opposite things. The thing about that knot type is it comes undone faster, so you end up tying it all the time. I couldn't be bothered learning it the regular way. Hence switching to velcro.

[Silenced]

It helps that I have the magical ability to not be able to trip over my shoelaces in the event my shoes become untied.
 
I am a wizard you know.

[ThePerm]

yeah i think if your over 5 foot tall tripping over your shoe strings is not a problem.

[Plugabugz]

Being in an all left-handed family is a bitch when you work in an all right-handed office.

[ThePerm]

your whole family is left handed? I'm the only lefty in my family. That goes for voting too.

[bustin98]

I am left handed, my wife is left handed, I have 4 girls, 3 of which are left handed. I have 3 brothers and I am the only one left handed out of them and my parents.