I can only imagine what happened before I heard the crash. How Bill Trinen’s powdered-sugar coated hands slipped from the steering wheel on my back road, beginning the greatest adventure of my life, will always be a mystery. I can only thank those sweet hands of fate and remember.
The sound of a car meeting a tree found me while my parents were at work. As usual, I was toiling at home, guarding it from intruders. They never thanked me for this, but only because they didn’t understand how dangerous it was. My imagination was often filled with terrorists and thieves, which I would cleverly dispatch. When they returned from their safe jobs, rolling their haughty eyes at my greasy appearance, I would smile knowing that I had saved them again. Of course, I wouldn’t tell them and give them the satisfaction.
From such a daydream I was broken, but it still seemed real enough to make me think I was being shot at. So, I rolled to the floor with the tight reflexes of a gamer. I stayed still, listening to the footsteps of two men approaching. I could determine from the right-leaning gait that one of them was carrying something, but I had no idea how special it was.
“Herro.”
My head slowly moved up to avoid giving away my position on the floor. There, looking at me like a Piñata too cute to bat, was Shigeru Miyamoto. My heart stopped colder than it already had been to conceal my chi.
“Huh… hi!”
I kipped up and moved from the middle of the room to the door, which I opened with disbelief. Seeing that Shigeru was in good hands, Bill made a sticky retreat back to the smoking vehicle. As I escorted the master in, I heard, “Reggie will be here to pick us up after his meeting with EA and other major third parties!”
The words seemed to hit Shigeru like a brick, as he collapsed in my arms. No longer lost in awe, I laid his limp frame gently on the couch and executed emergency resuscitation. It was only then that I noticed the blood dripping from his head, ejecting in spurts as I beat his genius chest.
After what seemed like an eternity, but must have been only an hour of beating, he awoke with a jolt and shielded his face from my hovering sweaty fist.
“You shaved my rife,” he murmured tenderly, still dizzy and afraid. “What can I do for you?”
“Miyamoto-san,” I said in perfect Japanese, “I owe you more than you could ever owe me. The couch you’re lying on, now soaked in your blood, has seen countless hours of joy because of the gifts you’ve given me.”
“Call me Mia. Even Bill doesn’t know that I like to be called that. It’s a name reserved for family.”
No words could find my throat, as if they were born so deep in my soul that they couldn’t leap high enough to escape. He understood and shook his head with a smile I’d never seen at an E3 presentation. It went directly to my heart, like a Nintendo Direct presentation.
“I want to show you something.”
He motioned to his bag, which remained where he fell. With a smile that I feel I’d never had before, I retrieved it and sat back by him as by a friend. As by family.
He took my hand, curling his fingers into mine, and we moved like Ouija brothers into the bag and onto something sleek and substantial. Was it possible?
I’ve never felt the touch of a woman, but the electricity that vibrated through my middle-aged flesh couldn’t have been entirely different.
AMD. Traditional console. 4K. Dedicated RAM.
NX.
Mia touched my chin, gently directing my watery gaze to his own.
“You were right about everything in the forums. You’ll be a god to them.”
My head drifted aimlessly, like a balloon filled with Mexican jumping beans. I knew that I had a high IQ, because I had taken a free test and purchased the additional analysis. The company was so impressed that they still send me emails to this day. Still, I never imagined that it would be him telling me.
A dart of light danced across the ceiling. Reggie was here, and the dream would soon be over. I lightly marched my fingers like Pikmin across Mia’s leg, up his arm, and finally up to wipe away his tear.
Topic: Switchmas Eve Rumors and Speculations Thread (Read 667544 times)
