Topics

1

NWR Forums Discord / Breaking: Iwata FIRED as head of NCL

« on: July 02, 2014, 01:10:12 AM »

APRIL FOOLS!

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2

NWR Forums Discord / Hey, BAKAS! The Mario Sunshine commercial was awesome.

« on: August 08, 2012, 11:31:20 PM »

First, here's the much (unfairly) maligned commercial in question:

"DERRR HERRR HERRR! IT'S KIDDY OMG FUCKING NINTENDO CASUAL BABY SYSTEM PURPLE LUNCHBOX!"
No.
It's actually a parody of the anti-pollution Public Service Announcements that ran from the 70's all the way into the early 90's. Specifically, the Woodsy the Owl PSAs.
 
Proof:

Well holy **** look at that! It matches up nearly 1:1 with the Mario commercial. Who'da guessed? Well, anybody that was actually, y'know old enough to remember these commecials. You know, the same sort of people that claim to be "too old" for Nintendo.
 
Of course, even if you aren't old enough to remember these commercials, your still a goddamn moron if you took the Mario commercial at face value.

3

NWR Forums Discord / NintendoLife is on the 3DS eShop

« on: September 17, 2011, 05:25:09 PM »

But not Former Fan Planet.
 
Suck it, Lindemann.

4

NWR Forums Discord / Would you let Reggie fart on you?

« on: July 24, 2011, 04:08:07 AM »

If it was the only way to get NOA to agree to releasing Xenoblade, The Last Story, and that other game nobody really cares about, would you do it?

5

Nintendo Gaming / WHY DIDN'T YOU FINE, REASONABLE PEOPLE BUY THIS GAME?????

« on: July 18, 2011, 09:40:21 PM »

I'm sure you've heard by now, but Icon games (as if I need to tell you who they are) has reported that nobody has bought Soccer Bashi. Absolutely shocking.
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InmgCfA38xw
 
What could have gone wrong? Well, they have it all figured out.
 
http://www.icongames.com/?p=1793
 

We found many of the review sites for WiiWare games to be very harsh – if you veer too far from the typical Nintendo styling the reception isn’t particularly good. Nintendo Life in particular provided a number of very unpleasant reviews.

Damn nintard game reviewers. But don't think that Nintendo Life (more like Nintendo DEATH) is only to blame. Oh no. Our very own NWR gave this game a FOUR POINT FIVE! I'd love to see the reviewer defend his review... if he can. But that's okay. I'm sure he's too busy washing his Mario themed bedsheets and pajamas to address this.
 

Perhaps the main point with WiiWare development is that you absolutely have to capture the expectations of the typical WiiWare audience – the visual style needs to be very in-keeping with the template set by the first party titles, so unless you get marketing backing directly from Nintendo, anything that veers away from this will fare badly.

This guy gets it. But why stop at Nintendo marketing the game? Nintendo should've subsidized the entire development like a REAL first party platform holder would do.
 
So there you have it, Ninfanboys. It's all your fault for not buying this unique software. And it's all reviewer's faults for not telling you to buy it. And it's all Nintendo's fault for not telling reviewer's to tell you to buy it.
 
No wonder Nintendo isn't releasing those three fruity RPGs. Not enough Mario for you guys.

6

NWR Forums Discord / Reggie

« on: May 25, 2011, 04:28:36 PM »

 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28aO3WNqAwI
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eVFc5k-KvM
 

7

NWR Forums Discord / NWR Youtube Channel Comments

« on: May 07, 2010, 10:49:17 PM »

  **** you guys, NintendoShitReport.

You guys ripped of Prem, you don't own every freaking The Grinder Vid Walkthrough, assholes.   

ftftydftydf   

Hello, and by the way , thanks Nintendo.

I have one question :
Do you know anything about the game " sadness " for wii ? Release date ?   

crappy wii games   

Subscribe to me now bitch   

sgfwretkkfoidmjjkdkldkfjkrgevu­iudvshuhfushguhajkhruajhwuihru­ihsdjkfhuiheruihguhyurgfehurhf­urehfuhrjhfjhduihuierhfuuirhtr­uifhuihruihfurhgtuirhughurhgfu­rhuhfurfhurhufhurhweueruifhuie­rhtuighuipghtguhuiwheruighuiwh­tuhpuiwerhgtuphpuhgturuhtgnwfe­ndmriwtuwidmyhiweupmydhfuierwg­huiergh;wthuerhgperh;wetgpwhtu­hhughrueghuihuiehguighuierthgu­ihg tehguightuhguiyperioutyoperuyt­   

its kina acward for me to sub you look at my BG   

I'm glad to see that the quality of your videos does not suck anymore.   

why did you leave out the hardcore gamers at E3   

Let me be one of the millions to say I absolutely love nintendo. PS3 users are a lot like sega Genesis owners. Laughing at us, standing tall on their graphics while we have the better games, even though I absolutely love them, especially the cutscenes in Brawl.  Remember the origional doom? the graphics weren't ads good as the genesis, but their versions had half the levels missing, and the sound sucked. Nintendo, you are epic, and the care for the gamer is what made you the longest running company.   

8

Nintendo Gaming / GhostSlayer - M+ Wiiware Swordslasher

« on: January 31, 2010, 06:34:51 PM »

In yet another case of typical 3rd party failure, I stumbled across a trailer on Youtube for a game that I've never even heard of. It looks like the Swordplay Showdown mode from WSR, except you're fighting the undead and you have stupid hair.
 
Official Trailer

9

General Gaming / Diablo III

« on: June 28, 2008, 03:31:13 PM »

Awesome

10

General Gaming / The smartest person on the Internet

« on: June 01, 2008, 04:11:24 AM »

I don't know if you guys are familiar with Malstrom, but you should be.

http://malstrom.50webs.com/

Basically, he explains in great detail what Nintendo's business strategy of Blue Ocean really is, what disruption really is, and, among other things confirms what we all knew: analysts are full of rubbish.

I think much of his terminology should become standard on internet message boards. None of this "hardcore" or "casual" nonsense. Upstream and downstream market are far more accurate descriptions. (Read his stuff and you'll understand.)

If you read nothing else, read this:

http://malstrom.50webs.com/birdman.html

It pretty much describes what Ubisoft and many others are doing in regards to what they erroneously believe is a "casual gamer boom".

And just for lulz and potential funhouse material:

http://malstrom.50webs.com/bingo.htm

Just a warning: "Hardcore" gamers will NOT like what he has to say.

11

Nintendo Gaming / Ubisoft admits to making crap, repents

« on: May 30, 2007, 06:58:31 PM »

Linky

Quote
"We made mistakes," they told the magazine. According to Spiegel, Ubisoft wanted to be first to capitalize on Wii and in its haste to release product it sacrificed the quality of the titles. Ubisoft has reportedly learned from its mistakes, though, and is promising that the quality of its forthcoming Wii projects will be significantly better.

Looks like Wii owners have taste in games after all.

12

Nintendo Gaming / Help bring Tingle Stateside!

« on: August 01, 2006, 09:19:48 PM »

NOA wants to know what you think about Tingle's Super Happy Rupee whateverthehellitscalled game.

http://www.nintendo.com/tinglesurvey

Get going!  

13

Nintendo Gaming / Contact is a must have...

« on: July 25, 2006, 08:28:33 PM »

http://www.toastyfrog.com/verbalspew/pivot/entry.php?id=160  

14

Nintendo Gaming / Caduceus!

« on: March 20, 2005, 07:50:09 PM »

Wow. Check out this new trailer:

http://www.atlus.co.jp/cs/game/ds/kad/movie/promovtr_s.wmv

It actually looks... good! Not gimmicky or anything, but actually fun.

This is now on my list of games to look for. The only thing that confused me is why they started drawing pentagrams towards the end of the video. Is that standard medical practice?

15

Nintendo Gaming / Age of Empires DS (Maybe)

« on: February 03, 2005, 08:49:11 PM »

http://www.gamesarefun.com/news.php?newsid=4280

It seems that AoE may be in development for the DS. Neato!

Glad to see that someone finally realized the DS is great for RTS games.

16

Nintendo Gaming / Will FF7 be possible on DS?

« on: December 03, 2004, 07:12:42 PM »

I know this is kind of a tired subject that's been discussed before with the GBA, but it just doesn't seem too farfetched now that the DS cards can hold a pretty reasonable amount of data.

I seem to recall reading that FF7 "only" took up about 900 something megabytes, with the rest of the data being redundant general stuff that needed to be on all 3 discs. Since that wouldn't be an issue with the DS card format, you wouldn't need any more than the 900+ megabytes of unique data.

The DS cards as they are hold quite a bit more than GBA, and are supposed to be cheaper to make. RE2 on the N64 proved that where there's a will there's a way, albeit with extra grainy video. The way I figure it, they wouldn't have to compromise video quality for FF7 with a DS port if the cards get to be around a Gig. So... the real question I have is: how long until the DS gets gigabyte sized cards (if ever)?

I know there are other issues too, like the characters might be too small and hard to see on a portable screen. One solution to that might be to include a "zoom" option, where it would enlarge the view a bit. They could make the menus touch screen accessible, add a side quest or two, throw in some touch screen mini-games, etc... but I'm getting ahead of myself here.

So could this really be feasible, or is it still a pipe dream?

17

Nintendo Gaming / Astro Boy: Omega Factor

« on: September 04, 2004, 09:36:05 PM »

Holy crap! Has anyone else played this game? It's by Treasure, and it should be called Viewtiful Joe Advance.

The basic gameplay is sort of a beat'em up, kind of like Viewtiful Joe. Not as good as Viewtiful Joe, mind you, but still awesome. There are also some shmup levels.

The biggest problem is that it's short, but that's really expected from a Treasure game at this point. It also suffers from some pretty nasty slowdown at times.

Still, it's probably my favorite 3rd party game in my GBA game collection at this point.