Here are the lyrics, since I rap them WAY too fast for them to even be intelligible.
Yesterday I got a package in the mail
Sent by by Mike Gamin, also known as Pale
Typically the Wii games we get are epic fail
But this was DJ Hero, my gaming Holy Grail
I gotta say the box was smaller than I thought it'd be
Most Guitar Hero boxes are monstrosities
Opened up the packaging with velocity
Read the game manual? Against my philosophy
First thing I wanna see is the controller
Mixer and turntable, just a little smaller
Slot in the mixer to hold the Wii Remote
Plug it in, close the lid and you're good to go
Start up the game, hittin' the tutorial
Grandmaster Flash makes sure that you know your skills
I gotta give'em props for authenticity
Real DJs check your hip-hop history
I do my thing and I learn what I got to
Do my first set? There's no reason not to
At first the crossfader was a little stiff
But then I worked it in, and then I got swift
Control the mix with the fade and effects dial
Hit Euphoria and score by the pile
But the coolest new feature is the Rewind
Backspin and play a section one more time
And the records in the mix are fantastic
New songs mixed with old-school classics
But the price point on this is kinda drastic
So empty out your wallet or put it on your plastic
For DLC, since I'm older than a Sleestack
You know I'm waiting for that Run-DMC pack
3 bucks a song, not sure I really need that
I'll trade in Dirt 2 just to get the fee back
But if you like rap, here's the game to get
And if you like DJs then you're good as set
Guitar Hero fans probably won't even regret
I'll say it right now: best music game yet
Dear God. Jon does know that you can't spell Crap without "rap" right? That was painful.
Yeah, painful if you're a Sucker MC