The lead up to WiiWare reveals a whole lot of stinkers. http://nintendoworldreport.com/vcArt.cfm?artid=15871 This roundup of VC releases reminds us just how bad games can be and how far we've come since these early clunkers. The NES selections are the real disappointments this month. These titles were quickly made, with shoddy design and uninspired graphics. The games below span two decades, but still lack even an ounce of originality.
Spelunker - NES
Cost: 500 Wii Points ($5)
Players: 1
Controllers: Wii Remote, Wii Classic, GameCube
ESRB Rating: Everyone
Released: 12/06/1985
Spelunker began its life as an Atari 800 game, and over time was ported to a variety of systems including the Commodore 64, the MSX, and of course, the NES. Naturally, the NES port of the game is the version released on the Virtual Console. Spelunker is a platformer that bears some resemblance to Pitfall and, in some respects, Donkey Kong. The object of the game is to explore an underground cave and collect hidden treasure all while avoiding chasms, rock slides, bats, and ghosts. In addition to these hazards, you need to keep track of your constantly depleting air supply.
The first thing you will notice when booting up Spelunker is how dated it feels. Even for an NES game, it is extremely basic. You will also notice, for all the wrong reasons, just how difficult it is. The game is challenging not because of well thought-out level design, but because the controls are simply awful. Jumping feels stiff and movement is slow. This becomes problematic because if you fall too far, you die. If you walk off of something without jumping - even if you only fall a very small distance - you die. If you fall into a hazard but can still clearly get out, the controls hinder you from doing so and...you guessed it, you die. While this may sound fantastic (*cough*), the terrible controls and ridiculous physics actually make Spelunker nearly unplayable. There isn’t much more to be said. Perhaps if it at least got this very basic component working right it might have a chance at being good; however, as it stands, this game is awful and under no circumstances should you consider buying it. - Nick DiMola
Super R-Type - SNES
Cost: 800 Wii Points ($8)
Players: 1
Controllers: Wii Classic, GameCube
ESRB Rating: Everyone
Released: 07/13/1991
Early in the life of the SNES, companies ported over arcade shooters to some success. While the arcade versions of these games were classic and fun, they were typically full of slowdown, and Super R-Type is one of the worst offenders. Based off the arcade R-Type 2, Super R-Type is a member of the horizontal shooter genre which has already seen its fair share of representation on Virtual Console. It is a varied game with different power-ups and a variety of ways to use your weapons. You can charge your ship’s laser cannon to release a powerful straight blast, or you can charge it up even more and release a powerful wavy blast. You also have the ability to use what the game calls a "Force Orb" which can either be attached to the front of your ship or let go to float around the screen and attack enemies.
Super R-Type features a level of difficulty bordering on unfair, mostly due to the fact that there are no checkpoints in any of the game’s seven levels. If you manage to get through a level only to face a boss and die (likely, because while the bosses look impressive they’re very difficult), you have to bob and weave and shoot through the entire level all over again. Even worse is when slowdown grinds the game to a halt, and then, after successfully clearing the screen of enemies, you slam into a wall because of the unexpected jump in speed. Guess what? Back to the beginning of the level. While Super R-Type comes from a series of good games (some of which already appear on Virtual Console), it is the weak link in the series. Instead of buying this slowdown-laden title, I would recommend buying R-Type III: The Third Lightning (SNES), the original R-Type (TG16) or any one of the better shooters available on Virtual Console. - Neal Ronaghan
King's Knight - NES
Cost: 500 Wii Points ($5)
Players: 1
Controllers: Wii Remote, Wii Classic, GameCube
ESRB Rating: Everyone
Released: 09/08/1986
Surprisingly, Squaresoft's first release in America was not an RPG, but a shmup by the name of King's Knight. Don't be fooled by the title, box art or screenshots of the game; though similar looking to an NES RPG, King's Knight is a shooter. Each of the game's four characters has their own stage in which they must dodge enemies, obliterate or avoid all terrain obstacles, and reach the dragon fight at the end of the level. During your scrolling progression from one end of the level to the other you will have the opportunity to pick up various speed, attack and defensive power-ups as well as four elements that will activate a secret power during the final boss.
Though the premise of King’s Knight sounds fantastic, that fact is, nothing about it is very interesting. The gameplay is very basic, even for a shmup, and there are absolutely no trimmings to the game; hitting the start button at the title screen drops you right into the shuffle. The level and enemy design is boring, and the content is extremely thin. There are a measly five levels, one for each fighter and a final boss fight, giving you little to come back to; not that you would want to come back, even if there was more. King's Knight looks even worse when you realize that it is just another shmup on the Virtual Console, and not a very good one at that. It would be in any gamers best interest to forget this game exists and save your 500 points for something worthy. - Nick DiMola
Powerball - Genesis
Cost: 800 Wii Points ($8)
Players: 1-2
Controllers: Wii Remote, Wii Classic, GameCube
ESRB Rating: Everyone
Released: 01/01/1991
Sometime in the future, mankind grew tired of having two games by the name of Football and decided to combine the best characteristics of each to create a brand new futuristic sport, Powerball. A mix of the basic gameplay of Soccer and the brutality of American Football, with the scoring mechanism of both thrown in, Powerball is essentially the mangled love child of the two sports. Two teams face off on a field similar to that of a Soccer field with an American Football twist, each side of the field has a goal line (crossing it will award you 2 points) in addition to the traditional goal (awards 1 point). Similar to Football, the ball is carried, and similar to Soccer the ball is passed around a countless number of times between team mates in an attempt to keep possession of the ball and ultimately score.
Powerball features an overhead camera to display the action taking place on the field. The camera feels extremely limiting, making it tough to really get a clear view of the field. The radar does help a bit in locating teammates; however, with all of the frantic action it's easy to stop paying attention to it in an effort to keep possession of the ball. Coupled with the terrible camera are terrible graphics. The "futuristic" field is distracting when paired with the similarly colored players on the field. Even the ball is similarly colored, making matters even worse. The only thing the game manages to do right is provide a solid control scheme, but by no means is this any sort of redeeming quality. Though Powerball mixes the two footballs, from a gameplay perspective, it winds up just feeling like a Soccer game (with a very small twist). This isn't inherently a bad thing, it just doesn't feel like it accomplished its goal of combining two sports. Conceptually, Powerball sounds like a blast; unfortunately, the final product is nowhere near as fun as the description leads you to believe. Steer clear of this game, even if you are a fan of Soccer games. - Nick DiMola
Wonder Boy - Master System
Cost: 500 Wii Points ($5)
Players: 1-2
Controllers: Wii Remote, Wii Classic, GameCube
ESRB Rating: Everyone
Released: 1986
While Sega’s Wonder Boy adds a new notch to Virtual Console belt, as a game it will feel quite familiar. Wonder Boy is the original incarnation of Adventure Island, a series that Hudson later created with only minor deviations from the Wonder Boy formula. The biggest and most impressive difference is having the ability to continue without finding an asinine Hudson logo at the end of the first level. Wonder Boy contains the basic platforming style of a Super Mario Bros. game with the addition of a few unique power-ups. Your main source of offense is an axe, and other power-ups include a skateboard and a protective fairy. The game follows a fairly standard format of eight worlds with four levels each, with the last level of each world ending in a boss fight with the game’s recurring villain. There is also a secret bonus world that is unlocked if you collect all of the dolls found in the prior level. Collecting every doll might seem like a tall order, but most of the dolls are easy to find. With the benefit of unlimited continues, you don’t have to be a perfectionist.
While unlimited continues save the game from being impossible, the game’s peculiar health system (your health continually goes down unless you eat fruit, and one hit from an enemy kills you) makes the game’s difficulty too reliant on challenging you with random enemies and falling platforms. Despite its difficulty, Wonder Boy is a fun game that might be worthy of a purchase as long as you don’t already own its clone, Adventure Island. - Neal Ronaghan
Cruis'n USA – N64
Cost: 1000 Wii Points ($10)
Players: 1-2
Controllers: Wii Classic, GameCube
ESRB Rating: Everyone
Released: 12/03/1996
The N64's graphical power should have made it the system of choice for racing games, but unfortunately its racing library was little more than respectable, with a couple standout titles. Cruis'n USA was not one of those standout titles, but it did come early enough in the system's lifespan to gain an inexplicable, mutant fan base.
Please note: Cruis'n USA is not a good game! The game features over a dozen tracks that all play the same (they're just an assortment of curves and straight-aways) and several cars that all feel the same. The graphics are shoddy and there are repetitive voice-overs during the race. There's the option to play with manual or automatic transmissions, but the difference doesn't add anything to the basic enjoyment garnered from arcade racing mechanics. For ten dollars even diehard fans of the series have to admit that this isn't worth picking up. - Evan Burchfield
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