Topic: MAFIA II: Day One

[Pryopizm]

It was a calm day at Dagafabawat.  The morning humidity was only mildly stifling and the townsfolk were waking up to face yet another day of futile work and incompetent managers.  

Unfortunately, there had been a cancer growing within the depths of human scum.  Two gangs had formed that were both competing against one another violently with bootlegged pornographic PSP games.  Business was booming; but many lives had already been claimed in the brewing gang wars.  Judge Aurion from the nearby town of Louieville had come there on vacation, but got caught up in a transexual teenage boy hentai UMD game ring.  

One of the few other survivors of the famed Louieville Massacre, TVMan, decided to find a new home in Dagafabawat, but soon noticed that crime seemed to fester around him like a cold sore on the lip.

TVMan decided to introduce the town to the style of Swift Justice that cleansed Louieville of its most unsavory citizens.  He pried the gun from Aurion's cold, dead fingers and renamed it The Crucible.  He convinced the townspeople to see eye to eye with him and join in his crusade.

Vote.  Vote now--for your lives.  

[ShyGuy]

As a member of management, I take exception to that incompetent crack.  Sure , I ordered  milliions  in R&D  put  into creating the most generic WWII FPS around, but I canceled that project! Some would say that was wasteful, but Microsoft  gave  me  a moneyhat as a kickback, so it's all good. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a tee time down at the country club .  

[wandering]

When wandering awoke that morning, he realized something was horribly wrong. "I should be wandering," he mused. "And yet I am not, and never have."

Later that morn, as Wandering stared at the sunrise as he wavered on the very edge of Cliff Dangerous, he mused further: "If I am never to wander, what is the point of living? What difference did it make if the dreariness ended now or 30 years from now?"

But just as he was about to jump, he remembered the one love of his life - the one thing that kept him going all those long years. Cheese.

But as he strolled back towards the town to fulfill his new mission of owning and operating a cheezerium, a thought struck him like the pang of a lobotomizing ice pick to the brain: he had been here before. Deja-vu? Or something more? Whatever it was, Wandering knew he hard this cry for justice before, he knew he had smelled this bloodthirsty scent in the air. As Wandering listened to the ravings of TVMan, he knew everything was the same. Except one thing: Wandering himself.

Wandering's suppositions were not merely the result of mental illness - Wandering had, in fact, just barely begun to hit upon the unfortunate fact that the deadly play which was just beginning had repeated itself a million times before, and would repeat itself a million times again, over the course of several millennia. Also, a bizarre cosmic shift had caused Wandering, in this single iteration of the play, to not wander.

But these thoughts had already left Wandering's mind, as he approached the place he had always and would always call home: the old House of Polysolysheoth in the district of Parcheesi in the town of Dagafabawat. When he entered, he grabbed the nearest piece of paper, and started to busily toil away at a sign. And when he finished, he hung it on his front door. It read:

"I can't go on living, goodbye world!"

...Quickly realizing his mistake, Wandering flipped the sign over.

"Wandering's Cheezerium - coming soon!"

[vudu]

Wandering cracks me up.

This is where I jokingly voted for TVman. I think the stress of surviving the first massacre drove him insane.  He's out to get us all!

EDIT.  I just noticed that Pale and IceCold also survived.  I guess we could vote for one of them, too.  You know, whatever.

Bill must have killed himself sometime between when the first game ended and the signup for this game.

EDIT:  UNVOTE TVMAN  I just wanted to be the first person to vote.

[MysticGohan]

Ah Dagafabawat, what a funny name for a town "I thought to myself" I picked up on the news about all the PSP's and the bootlegged porn, I had to think what moron would wanna sell something
that's limited in sales? Then it hit me, it was subliminal messaging of buying more bootlegged porn on blu-ray. Anyway... I went on with my day to pickup a bag of lean beef cuts, I plann on making stew tonight, so I needed the meat from the butcher's, I went in chatted abit, Strangely the butcher today was using a hacksaw to cut the meat into thin slices ....yeah whatever floats your boat Doc. I proceeded to get my order and move on out before he can do anything that might sugest a visit from your local food inspector.

As I was walking down the littered ads on the street, advertising psp ultra porn, I came across Wandering, I tried to get inconversation with him, but all he could muttered is "Cheese" and look blankly at the sky, poor wandering must be in a daze, I haven't seen something this sad since a turkey drowned itself while looking at the sky on a rainy day.

[Pale]

Dang.. voting already?  How can anyone know anything....

As usual I feel like I get left out of the loop...

:: Starts putting names in a hat ::

[vudu]

Quote
Originally posted by: Pale
Dang.. voting already?  How can anyone know anything....

I know everything.

[Sir_Stabbalot]

Stabby -no relation to the Louieville Stabby- walks outside casually, then proceeds to trip.

[wandering]

This party....isn't exactly swinging.

By this time last time there was, what, 25 posts?

edit: ahaha, stabby.

[Pryopizm]

I think people are being more cautious this time around

[vudu]

Quote
Originally posted by: wandering
This party....isn't exactly swinging.

By this time last time there was, what, 25 posts?

We're all waiting for you to open your damn cheese bar.

[MysticGohan]

Yeah, I want my motre pepper Jack Cheese, heavy on the Jack

[vudu]

By the way, I was completely out of the loop on the last game.  Apparently people were debating in hidden chat rooms and whatnot and I missed out on all the fun.  Someone let me in this time.

[Sir_Stabbalot]

Cheesebar?!? Why wasn't I informed of this?!?

[MysticGohan]

You were, just now stabby

[Sir_Stabbalot]

Quote
Originally posted by: MysticGohan
You were, just now stabby

...Blast your lightning-fast wit.

[nickmitch]

EDIT:
UN-VOTE: VUDU
For un-voting for me.  

[MysticGohan]

Ah! Mudslinging wars! Who will win or in this case die? Place all bets  

[wandering]

Wandering was stunned - he had vastly underestimated the power of cheese. As he stood, exasperated by the throngs of cheese-lovers that were beating down at his door - he tried to explain. "The cheese truck doesn't arrive until tommorow!"

But when an a small orphan arrived, looking up with tearful eyes, and pleading: "Please, sir, I haven't had anything to eat but peking duck for the past week..." Wandering couldn't take it anymore.

"All I've got is my small, private stash," he said. "Wait just a moment." He dashed into the house and came out with a few handfuls. "Cheddar for you, orphan," he said sweetly. "No charge."

The orphan looked at the cheese in horror. "Cheddar! I wanted Brie!"

"Yes. Well. And jack for you, Gohan. Jack cheese I mean, he he he. Oh, and yes charge. $1.25, please."

Wandering then turned to the crowd: "Um, you can all, you know, mill about here. In my front yard. Talk, whatever. Want some cheese, just ask."

[The Detective]

Let the detectiving BEGIN!!!

[wandering]

You do know mods are playing, right? Mods that can see your IP address? Mods who might be on the side of evil?

Or...wait for it...don't you have a clue?

[vudu]

I'm sure no mod would abuse his power like that ... would he?

EDIT:  What if he is one of the mods?

[kirby_killer_dedede]

Yes...yes he would.

[The Detective]

73h cr4pp0r5.

[Sir_Stabbalot]

I'd trust the mods. They didn't cheat last game, so they probably won't this time.

Or will they...?