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Video Games: A Review

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Evan_B:
Evan_B finally tackles this pop-culture classic, but what are his thoughts? Can people really grow by finally experiencing this medium? Let's take a look behind the curtain.

So for those of you who haven't been on the up-and-up since around the middle of the last century, this whole technology thing had given rise to a number of ridiculously stupid hobbies. Hobbies, of course, as defined by Merriam-Webster: "a small Old World falcon (Falco subbuteo) that is dark blue above and white below with dark streaking on the breast" means something that has little function to the productivity of a human being. Hobbies come in all shaped and sizes, but more recently, they tend to rely on staring at television displays and receiving audio via speakers. One such example of this sort of activity is, of course, the video games.

Video games. Who would have thunk that, way back in the 1940's when Thomas T. Goldsmith Jr. created the now-famous and instantly recognizable Cathode Ray Tube Amusement Device, he would be remembered in a Wikipedia article as creating the first in a long line of video games designed to waste our time? Others would soon follow, and then create so many fucking versions of Pong it would cause the fledgling video games industry to crash. They could have ended it right there, realizing “this fake tennis stuff isn't really all it's cracked up to be. But, from the ashes, the video games rose, and like all Phoenixes, it carried on its back the true savior of mankind: aliens. Space Invaders caused arcade cabinets to become commonplace in places like malls and restaurants, where people enjoyed rubbing their greasy fingers on things other people touched. This was, perhaps, the best time for video games, when having to participate meant leaving the comfort of one's solitary confinement, and score chasing created bitter rivalries and sharing of technique. But who can say- I wasn't alive then, so that part of the universe doesn't exist.

Of course, it is in human nature to not let a good thing last. As the strength of the industry improved, the world thought it would be neat to try that whole “Pong” thing again and bring games into people's homes. But this didn't turn out so well, and a great deal of market saturation of both consoles and video games that were absolute **** caused a second crash. Video games was not happy, and so they turned to the only people that could beat a Phoenix senseless enough to cause it to rise once more- the Japanese. Well, North America did, anyway. And the rest, as they will say in 300 years, is history.

But an abridged history of video games is not what I came here to talk about, dear reader, instead, I came here to tell you about playing them. What is it that brings satisfaction from these devices? Is it the ability to see another object visually react in response to our input? If we cared that much, we would never stop masturbating. No, it is the combination of many artistic talents that come together to create something uniquely lacking any sort of artistic quality. Games satisfy us on visual levels, maybe also assisting our immediate sense of satisfaction, and sometimes physical memory becomes ingrained in us, as well- the memories of sitting in our basement until four in the morning chomping on Cheetos yet also delicately wiping our hands clean so that we don't “gunk-up” the controller. But games do not challenge us intellectually. They hand the answers to us with such ease because if they didn't, they wouldn't sell. You don't buy a game to not understand it, you buy a game to master it. To defeat it. And that is a pretty human nature, to want to defeat things. Just ask Lu Bu. He's been in a few video games, himself. Keep on conquering, buddy.

So as any dejected, listless teenager with a penchant for writing **** would do, I set out on a journey many years ago to do the unthinkable- I wanted to play video games. Not just any one video games- ALL video games. This was a bit ambitious, I admit, but I was going to be the next Shakespeare. I had to start somewhere.Of course, video games had been present in my life before my teenage years. I had played them in my childhood, and they took me to magical places that my underdeveloped mind had no concept of understanding or caring about as long as my guy beat the next guy in my guy's way when I pressed a button. However, it was during my teenage years that I became quite enamored with video games, and like a mad titan from one of Jupiter's moons, I became obsessed with trying to impress video games. My quest was clear. Play video games. Write about them. Help other people understand them.

It's been about seven years since I started that journey. Seven years, and I have played around 300 video games or so in that time- eh, probably less, but I haven't been counting. However, what I have been doing is understanding the nature of the medium, and ultimately deciding that this **** is fucking crazy.How many moments of my life have I spent playing video games when I could have done something more productive? More artistic? A lot. Maybe it was because I gravitated towards role playing games more than other genres- fun fact, a wonderful thing about video games is that they appeal to many different types, although not all of them are good or smart people (case in point, people who like Mega Man. That's a story for another time!). But I have dabbled in puzzle games, platformers, action titles, first-and-third person shooters, strategy games, simulations, and more genres that I don't feel particularly inclined to detail. I have played the **** out of video games, and whether the old gal has finally been worn out from having her nipples tweaked too much and for too long, or because I realized how much time I actually wasted on this media, I decided that it was time to conclude this bizarre love affair.

But not before I posted all the dirty pictures she had sent me on the web.

There are talented and dedicated artists in the world of video games. There are probably some people that work in the video games industry who wish that video games would grow the **** up and try to be a bit artistic, but that does not really seem like a foreseeable future. Video games, like with most hobbies, are a method of killing time, of occupying oneself mentally so that they believe they are accomplishing something. Gaining new meaning. Defeating bad guys. Growing. But what growing do we do in front of our screens? What are we contributing? Maybe a gif-worthy animation error or “epic kill” as I have often heard spoken of. We are not doing what is good for the world, we are hiding behind a false, immediate, and satisfyingly addicting form of entertainment. We play for what we take away, not what we give to anyone else. At this point, I would like to apologize to any video game streamers- sorry, but you're not giving anyone else anything special by doing so.

Video games utilizes its many artistic elements to create a comfortable and secure environment for us to waste time within. In a sense, the people who help create them are very talented, because this is hard to do. But its exploited for commercial gain so much that the concept of leaving video games unfinished and releasing them at full price is considered okay. I mean, come on. I did not go to the Louvre to see the Mona Lisa eyebrows down!

But, gamers remain satisfied. With the industry, with its lack of artistic expression, and with the satisfaction they think they get when they complete video games. Because it is human nature to not let a good thing last. And in the end, video games will not survive as a medium if they continue down this path, and there will be a third crash of epic proportions, and hopefully, they can rise as something completely new and neato. Maybe even something worthy of being called art. Or feeling truly accomplished with.

In any case, I gave it a 3/10. Lacks the finality of a novel or movie, the depth of visual arts and storytelling, and it's definitely not as engaging as athletic activity. I would recommend NOT trying before you buy, lest you are sucked into the abyss that is her cold, hard gaze.

You can catch a collection of my previous works at Nerd Rage my former review site and now-desolate wasteland.

Triforce Hermit:
Artistic vision works best with limitations.

Khushrenada:

--- Quote ---It's been about seven years since I started that journey. Seven years, and I have played around 300 video games or so in that time
--- End quote ---

Whoa! I've been playing games on and off for over 20 years and I don't even own 300 games. I think you may have really exhausted yourself on the whole medium. I like movies but I'll go weeks sometimes before I watch one. And that's just an average 2 hour affair.

King of Twitch:

--- Quote ---There are talented and dedicated artists in the world of video games. There are probably some people that work in the video games industry who wish that video games would grow the **** up and try to be a bit artistic, but that does not really seem like a foreseeable future. Video games, like with most hobbies, are a method of killing time, of occupying oneself mentally so that they believe they are accomplishing something. Gaining new meaning. Defeating bad guys. Growing. But what growing do we do in front of our screens? What are we contributing? Maybe a gif-worthy animation error or “epic kill” as I have often heard spoken of. We are not doing what is good for the world, we are hiding behind a false, immediate, and satisfyingly addicting form of entertainment. We play for what we take away, not what we give to anyone else. At this point, I would like to apologize to any video game streamers- sorry, but you're not giving anyone else anything special by doing so.
--- End quote ---

bleak, but hilarious.

Evan_B:

--- Quote from: Triforce Hermit on May 23, 2015, 05:39:07 PM ---Artistic vision works best with limitations.

--- End quote ---
Tell me about it, I wrote this in just one lifetime and managed to pull it off quite well, if I do say so myself.

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